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I’d Offer You Some, But I Don’t Want to Get Too Close Because You Smell Funny

Destiny is the white noise on my TV when
Evelyn’s Great Dane falls asleep on the remote
And I’m left dubious of a possible message sent
Through my license plate: 703 JAM. I’ll either
Hold the 703rd spot on the Billboard charts

In a Jam Band or else toil as a jelly
Spreader in a sandwich shop at 703 Peanut Street.

Skies of Fruit Roll-up beg to be gnawed
As I traipse past the cemetery, but I fear the
Smiting of God for discourtesy to the dead
So nearby, who must observe with longing and
Yet cannot partake, as their jaws have likely rotted.

Author notes

I made this poem an acrostic for fun, but I got the idea because my mother is absolutely convinced her license plate means something profound. My new license plate was something like this, so I wrote a poem on the ludicrousnesses of her convictions.

do tell...

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5
  • I like the last bit about the fruit roll-ups I think its a fun poem, and its written nicely. Poetry doesn't always have to be serious.

    • I agree

      I prefer the funny stuff because in my opinion life is too damn hysterical even in the most serious moments.

  • i dont' get the point of this poem
    like, i get it that u wrote it for fun and all that but i don't get the point of the poem......

    • haha

      I'm not a fan of poems with a "point." I'd rather write a poem that makes the reader feel something or think about something in a new way.

      That aside, this one actually does have a message. The first part is about people who are always looking for messages from beyond in their everyday life. They are convinced that everything happens for a reason. And by everything I mean EVERYTHING. Their cereal could make a smiley face in their spoon and they believe that's a good omen.

      The "death is sassy" acrostic is meant to convey that life isn't so serious. That fate and death are what they are no matter what you do, so just have fun and stop trying to decode messages in your cereal.

      Hope that helped

      • ...but if it doesn't have a point...then why write it?
        i still don't get it...i mean, i see what you're saying, but i still don't get the point....

1 - 5 of 5