Ever Lost. by gnosisonG at Share Poetry

hope less than loss

she slept in dreams

ditched in curve

of bended mind

whilst Seed of Father

grew inside

Hades formed of concrete

walls where sunlight

was denied

bequeath a lonely child

hourless our loss

she wept in screams

pitched to shriek

whilst Greed of Father

fattened leech

neon sheen gave birth

a glistening slave

mothered beneath the earth

withered within His reach

taught to swallow secrets

only Hell can teach

a lesson of loss

she kept her being

stitched in shadow

a dark unseeing

bind of weave obscuring

Needs of Father

link of chains umbilical

to each unique

perverted miracle

laboured nursed and nurtured

bleak anaemic life

bestowed below

pale years of age

on Daughterwife

a Demon dug His pit

filled it

with broken bits of lust

tortured toys self-disgust

servile survival so vile

sane no creature

could remain

Breed of Father

feathered airless nest

with silence strained of intimate pain

from His largesse

rape another dead weight

to hobble gait of adult-

hooded heartstone cold

stunted cellar child oh

the surface found you old

youth in rust embossed

forever and

ever lost

Author notes

Few current events are as shocking and sickening as the affair of the fiend Fritzl and the twenty-four year incarceration with continuous rape of his daughter and three of the children she bore by his abuse, even in these jaded media days.

If ever there were a subject deemed too ghastly to render in poetic terms without the requisite distance of time, this would be one of them, but I offer no excuses and give no apology for being attracted, like an inverted moth, to the darkest corners of human abomination.

Some endeavours wrench themselves from quill tip and this is my pathetic attempt to engage with an emotional portrayal of sensations experienced by the foremost victim, Elisabeth, who through astounding courage and amazing fortitude was able though prematurely aged, toothless and bent double by suffering in cramped conditions, to survive her score and four years in hell.

Few writes have left me so spent.

I leave it to my peers to judge the rectitude of such a dubious poetic undertaking.

Debasement Children.

Comments

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oxymoron270
August 9

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this poem was very clear as to the situation. it was dark and depressing. the imagery was really good as was the language. structure was fitting. topic, though depressing, was good and important. definitely worth the read.

very good write,
adie
. Rewarded 4
Kiddy
August 6

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gG,
I visited this poem a few days ago, seeing the picture and title, I thought it was something about some historical event and decided to comment on the same later. I read first two stanzas and understood very well what you were talking about - it took me few minutes to come back to myself and move to next stanza.
Seed of Father – My God – I remember I used the same phrase when I was discussing this news with my students, three months ago. Every word is well crafted and reveals Pain. ‘Stitched in Shadow’, ‘anaemic life’, ‘airless nest’, ‘servile survival’ – these phrases really are powerful and they double my feelings. I was like ‘Why, God?’ Incest stories were cultural shock to me when I came across ‘Tell me Your Dreams’ and other such stories. But this real news story was a big shock and I cried within for long time. And about Elisabeth’s mother – I pity her for her innocence and helplessness.
Wordless.
Disintegrated Kiddy.

. Rewarded 8
Terry-too
July 22

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Hello Simon,

I returned to see what others had said, as much as to experience again what you had written. I can tell you that it does not fade with time--rather the opposite. It belongs in permanently available form, expressing as it does in fully descriptive, evocative form, a sense of outrage and pain... and perverse history.

Poems, even exemplary poems, tend to be ephemeral unless they are in print.

I read Harper's Magazine which fearlessly exposes humanity's ills, and publishes poetry occasionally, poetry that yours leaves panting in the dust. Nothing I have seen there is even on the same planet as yours! Somehow those writers have, however been published there.

My question has several parts. One, do you have access to, or have you seen the magazine? Library perhaps?

HARPER'S MAGAZINE, (it says on the title page)
FOUNDED IN 1850/ VOL 317, NO.1899
AUGUST 2008.

At the bottom of the page among other things it states "Unsolicited poetry will not be considered or returned. No queries or manuscripts will be considered unless they are accompanied by a self-addressed, stamped envelope, Visit our website at http://www.harpers.org "

That is pretty well standard, isn't it?
Have you considered publishing?

I have no idea what they pay, except that I have been a subscriber for a fair number of years, and know that Ever Lost is of such a high standard both poetically and in content, that its chances of being printed are good.

Terry, of Nothing Ventured Nothing Gained Dept.
- gnosisonG
  July 28
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  Hi Terry
  Your kindest of messages has emboldened this wavering spine of fortitude, imbued with purpose a quivering jellycore of self-belief and afforded a goal no intensity of Summer-swelter will dissipate.
  Whether or not successful in this particular endeavour may I tend my immense gratitude to yourself and other selfless toilers at the "Nothing Ventured Nothing Gained Dept."
  
  Cheers Terry. I´ll inform you of course as to the outcome.
  
  gG
DeeCrepit
June 17

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Basement debasement
The immensity of this crime left me wordless. Yes, it had been in the papers and on television, yet it joined the horror of "servile survival so vile" (masterly words)
of the worst and far surpassed them. The incest detested, and the helplessness of victims, only of the daughter-mother, but her children unaware that any other existence existed, would the next generation have any idea there was more to life than this? Would they be equally used?

Of course there was no mention of education. Any ability she would have to read or remember or dream of better, would have extiguished. In a void, no way to avoid what had become her futureless "now."

This is an immensely powerful poem of despair.
Someone had to say it, so the suffering won't have been entirely swept under the rug of distaste and disbelief.
Horridly difficult to write, but essential.

Bravo!

. Rewarded 8
- gnosisonG
  June 20
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  Cheers Terry!
  The news of late is, despite the horrendous circumstances, positive to the effect that the eldest child has woken from her coma and the family reunion is going as well as anyone could´ve dared hope.
  This just reinforces the humbling awareness of Elisabeth´s amazing fortitude, bravery and motherly love.
  As always a delight to hear from you dear Terry. My writing pores are somewhat clogged with the detritus of mundanity´s inane incline right now, which I hope to rectify with portions of good-karma-building exercises where I might be of assistance to others in need.
  Your own indubitable generosity of spirit serves as a sentinal beacon in that respect, Terry.
  Warmest regards
  gG
gnosisonG
May 21
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< To KnockNocturne
Soooo grateful you meet my low expectations.

[formulated to applaud a toddlers faltering stride]
ladydwarf
May 21

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I am so glad you explained this verse. was trying quite unsuccessfully to wrap my brain around it this am.....I like that you attempted to get inside her mind and describe the hell you feel with this story. The verse is crafted well......sometimes with horror we feel driven to explore our own feelings so that we can accept somehow that this has happend..."a Demon dug His pit

filled it

with broken bits of lust

tortured toys self-disgust

servile survival so vile

sane no creature

could remain"

excellent verbage.....well done description of what has to ahve been one of the major horrors of our time..kudos!...
. Rewarded 8
- gnosisonG
  May 22
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  Thanx Ladydwarf
  "sometimes with horror we feel driven to explore our own feelings so that we can accept somehow that this has happend"
  How very true! Well said.
  It takes the sting out of the questionable aspect of trying to enter a shade of a mindset that has experienced these things.
  Cheers for that.
  
  Regards
  
  gG
gnosisonG
May 20
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< To a Pseudo-Critique...
Debasement Children you mean? Just a pun, perhaps an alternative title.
I am aware of editorial preferences for non-centering but I have had a poem published recently which used centering as an artifice and I must say I´ve noted very little pique from poetry readers in regards to this at this site or others - so mere pedantry, I fear, underscores your voiced prejudice.
As for your bias concerning content I am not sure what to think. If you prefer a chronological sequence with clear context and image read a bloody newspaper or watch TV.
Seriously though I believe there is a fine line between mundanely stating (what should be)the obvious and tipping over into mumbo-jumbo.
In a piece relying on a single p.o.v. through psychology and emotive impressions the images are wholly subjective to the extreme situation.
There ARE plenty of clues I would´ve thought for any semi-discerning reader - cellar, father-daughter, incestuous offspring, stunted growth etc. Come on mate! The causal implications lie in the effect they have caused!
As for "intimate pain" and "servile survival" the former especially I almost discarded for being too obvious, hardly abstract.
Nonetheless I do take your point and might´ve titled the piece "Fritzl´s Cellar" or something to allay the confusion of some punters but as opposed to what you say on your page I believe poetry IS also cathartic, and cathartistry seeks below the skin, bypassing the profane.

Good luck to you also.

gG
Sachiro k-Saruto
May 14

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i'm amazed!!!
who knew that anyone could take such a disturbingly digusting topic and "own" it. i felt so much emotion of digust that i just wanted to punch my computer (my digust turned into rage). and just so that you know, for me, i think that anything can be a topic of poetry, there are no restrictions, no limits, nothing is stopping you from writting down exactly what you feel, see, hear or even think. poetry is your tool and you are the master, so let it flow!!!

now, enough of that annoying crud i just said, on to the things that i most enjoyed about your poem....i love the way that it rhymed. to me, poems that rhyme are a big hit for me, and they inspire me to write. i also love the way that all of the stanzas got larger as the poem went on. i don't know if that was planned or not, but it looks great!! the voice and the emotion in this poem were both great and had a big impact on me. hate and disgust, and i think there may even have been a little bit of sorrow in there. but i don't know, i'm not a very good critic, i just tell you what i though of the poem.....and if i end up liking it too much, then you end up with one these really long, boring and annoying comments.

thank you for the wonderful read, and i hope to read more of your work in the future....keep writinf, and remember, as i said before, nothing is off limits!!

Sachiro K ^^
. Rewarded 8
- gnosisonG
  May 14
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  Cheers Sachiro k-Saruto!
  Nothing annoying about your kind and generous comment. Glad you mentioned the stanza length. This was done in the final draft to achieve a sort of crescendo effect.
  Rage and disgust are two emotions a thoroughly healthy person would feel - thank you for sharing the feelings this write gave you. Much appreciated.
  
  Warm regards
  
  gG
gnosisonG
May 13

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< Cheers Caliente
The fattened leech, blood-engorged, sucking out the life-juices of its victim in a phallic connotation is a nasty one for sure and might be viewed as borderline gratuitous but there´s the rub; when expounding on the inexplicable there´s a razor-fine line between disgusting and informative I find. Sometimes a visceral impact needs to incorporate the two within an image purposefully graphic.

Warmest regards

gG
Windhover
May 12

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'Inverted Moth,' yes! 'Ghoul,' no.
Hi gG. Nobody should feel anything but decidedly ill having read this, so God only knows what it felt like to write it. All good writing expresses something deep in us. That 'something' in this case, is deep disgust. I applaud your bravery in daring to look so closesly at this obscenity with (what? There really isn't a word for this - empathy? Human understanding? How do you attempt to express the feelings of either victim or perpetrator in a case like this? Yet we must LOOK. It has long been my considered opinion that people must understand that we are all cast from the same clay. We can, each and every one of us, become monsters. We cannot protect ourselves from .. ourselves by hiding from what is base , abominalble and disgusting in our species.)
I love you description of yourself as 'an inverted moth'. But you are no ghoul.Your take on this brutal but honest, thorough but not prurient, sympathetic but not gushing. It is nobly motivated and, as always, skillfully written so that perhaps nobody I know could actually have done this job as well. I believe it should be published. I also believe 'Debasement Children' is a better title an would help achieve that. One of your very best, and that's saying something. >W<
. Rewarded 8
- gnosisonG
  May 14
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  Cheers Windhover!
  Thanx for an uplifting comment (to the effect that I´m no ghoul, heheh, glad you liked the inverted moth idea).
  Debasement Children would be a more fitting title and I think I might alter it to that. Only thing is it might seem "off" to use a pun as the title. A bit like Concentrate Your Love? But then again - intent is 9 tenths of the law. Thanx again
  
  Warmest Springtime regards
  
  gG
CinfullyDelicious
May 12

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WOW

agree with Dave Ochs..Nothing should ever be off bounds within the world of poetry.

We have our poeitc voice to not only share our love..our pain..but even our frustrations at such sickening things happening in our world..our opinion, in our own creative ways

This is such a deep write..haunting yes..we've seen it all on the news here in Australia too and I was just like noo, that can't be true..and it was/is.

This has great rhythm and rhyme and given the subject matter...was still very poetic feeling/reading

Told the tale in such a draw the reader in way...Even though not the nicest topic lol, I atcully could have kept reading more cause you just wrote it so well

Cindy
. Rewarded 8
- gnosisonG
  May 13
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  Cheers Cindy
  I agree that for poetry to remain a relevant form of expression, it must encompass the whole gamut of human sensory experience - both love and horror. Thank you for your kind compliments.
  
  Warmest regards
  
  gG
dave ochs
May 11

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hey gG
nothing should be off-limits for a poetry even Fritz,who by the way says hes no monster because he could've killed them all.

but here you give Elisabeth a voice and then some with a lot dignity to go with it. also what better metaphor than hell to frame this with.

i enjoyed this more than some of your others simply because i was familiar with the story, and the references didnt go over my head. may Fritz burn in hell
dave
. Rewarded 8
- gnosisonG
  May 13
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  Echo Your Sentiments Dave!
  A friend of mine equated the horror as being in hell where each evening Satan descends to rape and abuse you.
  I´m gratified you think the voice of Elisabeth is dignified - that was an essential element to elevate an empathic understanding.
  Cheers
  
  gG