Every time I sit down to write a poem,
I get a feeling of thoughtfulness and softheartedness.
It always turns out to be about or towards someone else,
Because the times it was about me there was nothing but pain.
I try not to let it go that far,
Because I don't want to know the hurt when time passes.
I'm making this not only about me,
But also my thoughts that appear in this existence.
Is life too unbearable to comprehend?
Or is it just me?
Are my thoughts making no sense?
Or will there always be questions with no answers?
I want to know the truth,
About it all and whatnot.
I want to know the lies,
When I sit here listening to someone else.
Why can't they shut their mouths!?!
Ooops, there's the other people again.
And as they say,
Or may not.
These may or may not be the thoughts of a helpless mind.
Reviews
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WOW
Nice poem girl I really liked it you put a lot of emotion into the piece which makes it a really good piece. I enjoyed reading it I hope to read more from you. I loved all the lines the fourth line to the end needs fixing the peoplpe got to fix that to people lol. Anyway it kinda sounds like stuff I think about.
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thank you for your comment....it's good to know that someone thinks like me...in running sentences and misspelled words....sucks...and my thoughts go too fast....don't know just writing...thought it was good....wrote it at 4 am this morning....again thank you
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my stance
dude!!!! lots of spelling mistakes!!!!lol. but that's easy to fix.
okay, I'd put it as
Because the times it was about me,
there was nothing but pain.
and I'd add a "all" after because
I don't understand line 6 whatsoever
Line 7 spelling mistake
change I to "I'm"
And maybe instaed of
"Are my thoughts making no sense?"
maybe
change to
"Is it my thoughts that make no sence"
I'm gonna have to finnish my comment later cause I got alot to say and no time , so I'll finnish later
( later)
I really tend to like this poem. I understand what you're saying, I get the mood and sorts. lol, get your rant. lol It's not really a poem though. And the last 4 lines trip me up. I see it as more of a personal stance on your feelings. which yes, does sound like a definition for a poem. but it's more of something I'd think you'd find in a coffee house setting. I relate to similar feelings. wanting to know the truths and the lies of everything, wondering if life is too unbearable to comprehend. we are on the smae wave length there. I give it a b+. ta-da and that's a perfect comment!
shadow2050
May 15