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Pretty Penelope

Missing image
I'm not worthy of you, Penny
I'm afriad that's true, Penny
But Hell I'll go through, Penny
All for the love of you, Penny

You're my sweet white dove, Penny
Blessed by Heaven Above, Penny
You're Beloved I write of, Penny
Someday I'll win your love, Penny

Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty Penny
I love you, but you don't even know me.

You are so bright, Penny
You're everything in my sight, Penny
For you I'd fight, Penny
With all my might, Penny
To have the right, Penny
To win your heart's delight, Penny

I'd give anything, Penny
If you'd wear my ring, Penny
Joy to you I'll bring, Penny
Be my beloved Queen, Penny

Pretty, Pretty, Pretty, Pretty, Pretty, Pretty Penny
This poem is the first of many, Penny
Grief I won't give you any, Penny
As sure as my name is Henny, Penny

Show me, oh won't you show me, Penny
That you too were hit by Cupid's bow, Penny
I'll be you're devoted Romeo, Penny
You make my heart aglow, Penny
It's me you want to know, Penny

You're the Goddess I tithe, Penny
I love you more than life, Penny
Oh please be my wife, Penny
No more will you strife, Penny
My life is forever rife, Penny

Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty Penny
I love you, but you don't even know me
You go out with guys who are so far below me
Pretty Penny, pretty Penny

Author notes

I was thinking of song lyrics when I wrote this. I imagine it being sung to a 60's pop tune with jangly guitars and an up tempo beat, like the Beatles in their Rubber Soul period. Or maybe mid-90s Material Issue. Or Matthew Sweet.
I know it sucks, but that's how I feel towards a girl I like. Can anyone offer constructive criticism, besides leaving out all the Penny's? Much obliged.

Is this too corny? Too gushy-mushy?

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Comments


  • skipeople
    June 6

    Edit | Reply
    This is nice. Only really critizism I have is...the whole repeating Penny, nice stress, but it started to annoy me. Then again, I just get annoyed with kind of thing, ha.

    The emotion in clear and it had a point to it.

    Nicely done,
    Ashley


    • ladyjanew gold member
      June 8
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for your comments! I repeated "Penny" so much because I origninally wrote this as song lyrics. I imagined it as a 60s pop tune with jangly guitars and a Beatly beat.
      I'm glad you liked it. I'll check out your stuff, too.