The stem furls back into the body,
chews on the root, deep in the Earth.
Pulsing vivacious Earth
let me lay my head on your chest
let me smell your musty, morning dew
find your rhythm in my soul,
my Negesh, my Dan-Tien,
let me cup your hope in the hollow
of my hand,
drink it, and be refreshed,
let the sun paint pictures
inside my eyelids
when I blink.
Let me find your rhythm
in a streetlight, a thunderstorm,
a moment, a metaphor.
A stone to the palm, solid,
silk to the touch, rain on the eyelids
behind the eyelids lies
static electric vision in
technicolor sun love-lives,
a picture
arms open,
palms upward.
Reviews
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*sighs* So I had to read this like twice, but I think I get it now, haha. I'm just really tired.
Anywho, it's very descriptive and your language is different from what I'm used to, for sure. But don't worry, that's a good thing. Always nice to have something fresh. This is also way different in style too, you're like...ummm...let's see...I can't think of any good examples at the moment, but you're just new. Let's stick with that! =] Moveing on, I kinda get the meaning and then I kinda don't. Like I think the title fits and I can image someone standing out in the rain looking toward the sky, eyes closed, hands out. Almost feelings the heart of the earth pulse through them. Is that close?
Nicely done,
Ashley -
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Indeed, that is the image I was going for. I am also trying to communicate the multi-faceted nature of God (lol, as much as can be communicated in a single poem) through the use of a variety of images (which I am struggling with) and several words from other languages (Negef is Ancient Hebrew, and Dan-Tien is Mandarin, both mean "soul", or can be used to describe the equivalent of the concept of "soul" as iterated in English). One of my major concerns is how to incorporate a greater variety of cultural imagery without seeming colonial?
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skipeople
June 5