I haven't had the words to say lately.
I have, however, fallen short of expression
and sat on my good ideas like bad eggs.
I've spent my days as an encased version of me
came unprepared and unable to make sense of
these perverse picures.
I don't want to talk about it, I want to be at peace.
I'm genderless, loveless, and worth less
than your average eyesore
when words fail me and I fail them more.
But may all your short tempered demons
breathe a wind of understanding.
May all your doubts diminish into nothing,
may the lucky life find you.
May you make room for your own feelings
and care little for mine,
may you dare to be only yourself
and not the billion people you resemble.
This 'you' I refer to is my mirror:
I both dread and enjoy how each reflection
resembles the other;
always looking for the right lighting
to bring out the best features.
It's as if we live several countries away
and never settle in our own heads.
But please, may you fail to relate,
may I be the one writhing my life away on paper,
and you the ignorant one for another day.
And may you remain unaffected by rape,
the pornographic-pseudo-love-starved thing
I have come to hate and enjoy the freedom
of an ill governed mind.
After all, you didn't ask for this project.
May something hold its solid form
and not waver to change so I can finally
and firmly declare 'I've had enough, I quit.'
Reviews
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Again this poem does the duality thing. One voice, two persons. It gives a stark image of facing oneself in the mirror and noting the paradox/reversals/anti-thesis that is present in us. This however is less theoretical. This poem conveys a grounded idea on experience (or what seems to be experience).
There is strength and 'guardian'-like tone to the speaker. In my head, it sounds though that the speakers voice is trying to stay steady even if it often cracks, holding back tears. The reassurance the voice offers is amazing. I suppose reassurance from ones self, a wish of luck to oneself is stronger. However, like your other poem, this touches on a darkness, as it tries to live out a light. Interesting poem and subject. -
This is a strong poem in so many ways. The emotions are so deep and sad to even read. The description is amazing. It isn't overly complicated but not simple either. This is so good. You have good word usage and structure. Here are some parts I thought were especially good and really added to this:
"I've spent my days as an encased version of me"
"when words fail me and I fail them more."
"may you dare to be only yourself
and not the billion people you resemble."
"And may you remain unaffected by rape,"
"May something hold its solid form
and not waver to change so I can finally
and firmly declare 'I've had enough, I quit.'"
It's all really good but those are some of the parts the really popped out to me.
You wrote something amazing here. Especially with the whole mirror concept that you added. That really made it interesting and filled it with a sense of emotion and perspective.
You have a great beginning and ending. Both are so fitting and direct. This poem flows from the beginning to end amazingly.
This is true poetry,
adie -
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Hey, oxy
I appreciate your comments on my poems, I really do. Forgive me for only giving one message back to you as it's late and I'm drowsy
Thanks for taking the time to read and stop by to give your words, compliments never hurt. But of course, if you ever find anything of mine a bit weak or rough around the edges, feel free to let me know that as well. I value your opinion and it's nice to meet you.
Thanks again.
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iphios
July 3
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