The Fellini movie is back.

Flashes of hard colors
Ugly faces, black and white
distorted, grotesque
Things bleeding;
a foot in the sand
upside-down;
a woman’s mouth
Dismembered but yelling,
Shrilly screaming
A silver filling showing.
Large movie screens
Flash MTV-like images
Of bad videos with even
Worse lyrics, barely that,
Singers making noises and
No sense.
Evil clowns, scarecrows,
Flying and crashing
Headless things and
Too many headed things
Quintessential bad
Horror movie images.


I try for angels
And fairies and
Red sparkling shoes
With great spiked heels
(In my size, of course!)
But, no, the sandman
Is a mad man and he
Knows where I live
Sending demons, devils and
Draculas.

I want them to stop and be
Replaced by pale backgrounds
With only two spinning dots;
One red one blue.
I search for them
Behind my nightshades  
Believing they are a sign,
Not an omen, of good to come.
I made that up but
Believe it surely
And wish for it dearly
To end the movie,
One I’d never choose to see.

These awful visions
Reflect inner turmoil.
Freud would certainly agree.
I have fears,
and issues and negativity.
Certainly I do, who does not?
My life has changed
A MonSter has reared it
Ugly changes on my body
and taken away my autonomy.
Angry? Yes, I am.
Frustrated? Yes!
Feeling less than?
Oh, yes, truly.
I was Superwoman
Able to fold 3 loads of wash
In a single bound
And now,
I cannot stand much less walk
For the time it takes to
Cook dinner.

Until all is resolved
And accepted,
I know the Fellini movie will
Continue.

I want to leave that theater.
Soon, I hope.