the happiest beggar
I've met in Mexico
(or the best actress
I don't know which)
popped out
from behind a statue
with a loud "Bueno"
I answered
and she started talking
about the sun
I agreed to as much
as I understood
in my still groping spanish
and waited for
the money request
I asked her name
she gave me "Maria"
through an almost full
display of missing teeth
she asked mine
I gave it
then the short
inevitable pause
"comer" (eat)
was the pivotal word
I had already decided
to give her more than
I usually did
and did
and she shuffled off
at a faster pace
than she had arrived with
I gave it a few beats
then turned in her direction
and she was stopped
turned back toward me
mid-way into the sun
with her left hand
waving away the hunger
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Caught -
a vivid moment, a momentary encounter. It's punchy, rhythmic, spare, and full. I don't ask for more.
Best RA -
I would lean more to feeling this is a bit prose like over poetry..but that is not a downfall at all..
I loved the tale told..great work to give it the feel of completeness
Cindy
. Rewarded 4
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Bravo! This was an enduring tale about a beggar woman in Mexico who charms you into giving her money for food. Very sympathetically done. She is a fully fleshed out character that you feel for. Good job!
. Rewarded 4
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hey MJ
i really enjoyed this poem, the simple but very large meaning and message behind it. And as the others have said the ending leaves an image as your imagery is very well balanced, nothing was wasted with useless words, very good job and I enjoyed the good point of view of life instead of reading about the bad all the time. Great job in my opinion.
TTYL
MM
. Rewarded 6
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hey MJ
i thought this was stellar and agree with the exchange between you and windover. this really paints a picture with no gimmicks to block the view. there was something about the ending too that left a lingering image in my mind. why does this not qualify as "serious"?
dave -
Trust your instincts, Luke! Use the Force!
You should trust your muse more Richard. The best poems are 'given' - not contrived. Imho anyway. This is a good example. -
If it must be written.....
Hi Richard. I can't say hi and not apologize for not having been around your work lately. I just want to say it's no reflection on the work.
I like this. I like its 'no-frills', straight from the hip, had-to-write-this-down 'feel'. My favourite poet (Bukowski) says you should only write if you can't help it. I get that here. Good Write. >W<
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John - You're right about my having to write this one down. She was an irresistable character, and I just happened to be sitting on a pocket park bench with notebook in hand. Less forced and contrived than some of (ok a lot of) my other stuff. I like 'em like this too, but am never quite sure that they qualify as "serious" pieces. Thanks for looking at this one. MJ
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