I’ve become a calendar crosser-offer.
New moons in shadowy bars shift neon
after a little bit of pixie dust. Revenge
fucks forget their under-things on my
bedroom floor. I just sigh and get the tongs.
My freshest affliction is forbidden fruit
syndrome. And smoking on the porch
while the weeds grow up around me.
And stooping to work at The Gap.
And eating canned foods.
Author notes
Bored and missing someone. 14 days...
do tell...
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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ms. raven
i wrote a lengthy comment on this before my computer hit the skids but 130 bucks and a week later i'm back. hey if revenge fucks leave their underthings under your floor then you have it going on, altough i have found old apple cores and banana peels that i left. my only compliant is the short length, i think you need bulk for your convulutions to come to full fruitition.
dave. Rewarded 6
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Lol
i thought it was a kewl poem, definately a hip poem that you usually don't see anywhere commercialy. I like your style alot. all the poems of yours that ive read have always had this really chic, through the rabbit hole type of feel to them. i like it alot and I think you've got a great imagination and good control of your writing.
peace out jay
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thanks jay!
I have this theory that all of Earth is through some rabbit hole on an alien planet. Not really, but it feels like it. Haha. Thanks for the reading and I'm glad you like my stuff.
Andrea
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I really like this poems, the line "Revenge fucks forget their under-things on my bedroom floor," makes me laugh, and the line "My freshest affliction is forbidden fruit syndrome," makes me sigh with understanding as the two lines connect for me. Love it.
. Rewarded 6
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Haha that's my favorite line. Thanks for the read!
Andrea
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boredom felt.
i have always admired the way you describe the things that have been goin' on in your life. you have such an amazing and refreshing way of putting things in a perspective with which i wouldn't have seen by myself before. i do hope i could cope with boredom the way you do...and that is write something that is so right on the dot...
way to go, andrea...this is a great one.
kudos!
leigh
. Rewarded 8
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Not just boredom...
It has to be anxiety boredom, which trust me, you don't want. Thanks for reading and commenting and liking my stuff!!
)
Andrea
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Revelations of what's not there...
Deft springs to mind, the way you handle boredom and unpredictable absence. The second and third lines mood-set the rest.
I like the choice of "freshest" for the fruit syndrome for obvious reasons. And "sigh and get the tongs" is some kind of ultimate in world-weariness. But you're telling us about what was in the things you do tell us about, par exemple, "eating canned foods" gives us a flash of candlelight and wine and, I don't know, Stroganoff, fill in the blank.
One of the things I like about your pieces is that there are smashes and bangs and clangs but there is subtlety at the core and a sort of relaxed bemusement. Dorothy Parker, only much hipper. Cheers, MJ. Rewarded 8
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Thanks for the always thorough commenting. I don't think I can write if I'm not bored and anxiety ridden. The poem would end up like a schizophrenic mess.
I love Dorothy Parker's work so thanks for that. I am, however, relieved to be hipper than a woman I'm pretty sure was born before the turn of the century. haha
Andrea
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