I fly far and wide on my outstretched wings
Helter and skelter perching on one and all
Like a raunchy wench I have many a fling
As I answer all summons of lovers who call
Benign is the whisper which begins the blames
I poison all targets which lie in my path
Soiling the solidity of established names
Baseless strength of my haphazard wrath
Willing to mutate as you want me to
To maim your opponent in your covert duel
Camouflaging the false with what is true
The harmless lie becomes deliciously cruel
Growing in scale with every tongue I touch
Tipping to unleash a tsunami of venom
Recoiling to fullest before packing a punch
To stagger the blissfully unaware victim
Am a weapon for whoever wants to use
I hunger for pain and sadistic joy
I have no scruples and no sides I choose
Morrow YOU could be trapped by my ploy
I thrive on your thirst for superstition
My vicious waters will have no end
Perpetrated by progenies with blind conviction
A rumour of yore becomes a legend
Reviews
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Himanshu - This flows pretty well, though I see a few forced rhymes which I think detract. For example, in the third line you've used the plural 'flings' to match the 1st line's 'wings'. I think you could solve it by changing the first line to '...outstretched wing...' which would give you back the singular 'fling.'
In the 6th line, not a case of rhyme but meter and rhythm, 'solidarity' may fit the meaning of what you want, I'm not sure, but it would be smoother with 'solidity.' Something to consider, the word 'solidarity' just sort of klunked with me.
In the 5th stanza, back to a case of rhyme , consider changing the first line to 'I'm a weapon for anybody to use' still gives you the rhyme with choose.
And 'vilious', I don't know, I never saw that one before, maybe
'bilious.'
Still wondering 'who' this is about. Sounds like it might be an allegory. Have to look into it a little deeper, just wanted to point out a few superficial things, cosmetic. Cheers, MJ. Rewarded 8
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Thanks MJ!
Well yeah, flings is gramatically incorrect I suppose. But having a singlular "wing" too sounds awkward. And if I have to go for one of these two wrong options, I think I will stick to the one that I have now... BTW... wings-fling too doesnt sound that bad, does it? So i can keep "wings" and "fling" and not really compromise on the rhyme. Tell me what you think about it.
Yes, solidarity is a syllable long than what is required. I think I will go with "solidity"
And the fifth stanza... I like the alliteration in that line.
I will stick with it.
And vilious... I guess I assumed that it was an alternative adjective to "vile"... I checked and it is not a valid word! I think I will go with "vicious"... Bilious would not make a lot of sense here, would it.
Thanks for the cosmetic suggestions. I think too few people pay attention to the cosmetic these days while writing poetry. I wouldn't like to disregard the aesthetic aspect of poetry!
And what is this about. I read all these consiparicies about some dates and all when written in "Windings" font in MS Word give a sequence of symbols which hint at 9/11 attacks and which therefore ties in Microsoft to the terrorist plans. And that is the case with most rumours... at all levels... even those day to day college and workplace rumours, usually nothing much in themselves... but i have seen people losing friends, and in some extreme cases even their jobs because of rumours. Therefore thought of writing and ode for rumours... they are quite a potent force.
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Thanks for the explanation, now I have something definite to refer to. Not to beat a dead horse but the expression "on the wing" actually is describing a bird in flight, but you're right, wing and flings can work. Cheers, MJ
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I really enjoyed this poem, lines like "As I answer the summons of lovers who call" and "The harmless lie becomes deliciously cruel," are great. This is one of the poems I feel like I could read over and over and get a new message each time.
. Rewarded 4
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And I could read your comment over and over again and feel good about my poetry writing skills
Thanks a lot!
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I have absolutley no idea what you are talking about but it sounds scarey! However it is well crafted........nice use of phrasing
. Rewarded 4
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It is Rumour singing a song on itself, in first person! Hope that clarifies things!
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wow!!!
i like what you did here, h this is exactly the kind of song that rumor would sing...i can sense her viciousness through your poem...i can picture the lives that she would wreak havoc to...i'm glad i was able to read this piece...it is definitely a great one that deserves to be given attention...personally, this is a unique poem for me because there not so many people who would dwell on the topic that you have touched here...when i read the second stanza of this poem, that's when i got the idea that you are writing about rumor itself...or that she is singing of the bad things that she could do...again, this is great
kudos!
leigh
. Rewarded 8
July 24