Crashing explosions in the distance
Following the path of least resistance
Determined in its strong persistence
To escalate its entire existence
Splitting complete darkness with light
Demolishing the depth of the night
With the course of its powerful fight
And its intense desire to ignite
Violent gusts twirling locks of her hair
Black strands slightly covering her glare
Gazing towards a dream wishing she were there
In her fantasy with drops of liquid air
Memories recollected deep within the minds eye
Of the years that had passed her by
Moments of loving and saying good-bye
And trying to find comfort in her blue sky
Grey clouds full of mystery and wonder
Blue skies deceivingly hidden under
Dark clouds broken asunder
By an electrifying crash of powerful thunder
Droplets of heavenly dew precipitating down her skin
Dripping innocently down to her devilish grin
Exposing her deadliest of deadly sins
Once perfectly hidden like a neglected mannequin
Wet silk clinging to the warmth of her midriff
A cool breeze teasing the core of her bosoms stiff
And soft winds blowing her teal skirt slightly adrift
An intensity forcing the storm to shift
Delicate fingers fondling the beauty of her storm
Discovering the smooth wet cloud is warm
Dripping its drops of heavenly dew down her form
Enticing the secret mannequin to transform
Whispers heard from a distance
Coaxing her moist dew some assistance
Overpowering her resistance
To show her the beauty of coexistence
Drinking the waters of her fine wine
Tasting and tracing a line down his spine
Heavenly bodies pressed and combined
Wrapped around and intertwined
Strong waters crashing ashore
Filling her body with more
Drops of fierce rain began to pour
As thirsty bodies continued to explore
Throbbing bolts of lightening struck the sky
The moment he touched her inner thigh
Roaring thunder transformed an eager cry
As she grasped what she once denied
Pulsating wet desires from within
Begged for him to complete her sin
Quivering over his warmth and tasting his skin
Fixating her gaze as he dripped his rain down her chin
Comments
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To be honest...
I was wondering why I was becoming intrigued by your description of a coming storm. This woman you describe sounds incredibly attractive. Is this poem about you? Your imagery in this was very strong. Quite alluring in fact. My anticipation for the direction this poem was taking began to peak with the cool breeze. You could certainly say this had my blood pumping. Gee, I wonder what her secret mannequin is. You maintain an excellent rhythm all the way through the encounter. I am very impressed with the skill with which you have held your steady rhyme. It seems to come naturally. Which ofcourse was the goal. I'd have to say your climatic last stanza would have to my favorite. An absolute perfect way to end
this poem. Definitly one of my favorites.
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well! well! Well! i love this! what a build up. a wonderful description of sex and its climax. imagery is great, rhymes great and i am particularly in love with these 'Pulsating wet desires from within
Begged for him to complete her sin
Quivering over his warmth and tasting his skin
Fixating her gaze as he dripped his rain down her chin' yes! sweet rain!
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you know what.... upon further inspection I realized that the first few paragraphs are a glimpse into the passion tha is to come... so I'd leave it be... At first when I started reading I thought it'd be about a storm..but the storm is the passion and the passion is the storm.. it makes sense
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She is imagining this "blue sky"? To comfort herself?
What if you started the poem with the paragraph that starts with "memories" and moved the following as well. then let the rest be.... that way it would ascended to the climax of the storm both inside and outside of her. Just a thought. Seriously though this gave me chills again!! that is the second time your poetry has done that!! The imagery is powerful. I feel like I am there, like I am her! Lust and storms, what a great combination! CHEER
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