Share Poetry Critiques Poetry       Forums       Freewrite       Store      

Unspoken Thoughts

*Please read the end-notes for clarification if you couldn't hang on too well; it IS quite a lengthy poem, I know

Boy

She smiled at me, the day before last,
while passing through the halls.
I barely saw her because we had passed
pressed against separate walls.

She looked at me with eyes of a friend,
when truly I wished for more.
Unfortunate it is, that in the end,
that wish has been wished before.

I smiled back, just in time,
before she had dissappeared.
But behind that empty smile of mine,
slipped past a silent tear.

I longed for her to love me back,
the same that I had for so long.
So cruel that the truth of the fact,
was sung in so many songs.

We walked along; down separate paths,
more than she'd ever know.
And even though my heart would beat fast,
I knew that her heart would beat slow.

We're the closest of friends, but still not enough,
to put my mind at ease.
There have never been such conflicts as tough,
not nearly as close, as these.

Across the room, a dream drifts away,
a star upon which has been wished.
Such countless times, I wished her to say,
"We're meant to be!" like this...

Across my mind, an idea does leap,
but just as quick vanishes, too.
We'll never be, but my heart she will keep,
and in it; a love that is true.

So far away, these words I hold,
these words that I long to speak.
I want, and hope, that one day she'll know
how much that she meant to me.

So, my love, I want you to hear
these thoughts that are on my mind.
So sad that I have such a great fear,
but hopefully this note you will find.



Girl

In class we're seated opposed from another,
in seats across the room.
But that would never stop the other
from communicating so soon.

In lunch we walk side by side,
never silent at all.
But even then, it's hard to hide
the way that he makes me fall.

He makes me laugh, and makes me smile,
when not another can.
I truly hope he stays awhile;
I hope he takes my hand.

He's my best friend, and nothing more,
but oh how I wish that would change!
We've spent so long together before
that I got a feeling so strange.

We walked together, so close I felt,
that I swore he heard my heart beat.
He made me feel like I could melt
regardless of cold or heat.

We walked along, down the same path,
the path I loved so well!
We're pressed so close I felt him laugh,
a giggle for which I had fell.

Now I felt this sensation of which,
I cannot explain.
A feeling that someone made a wish...
A wish that would ease this pain!

Now so close, I whisper to him,
"You know, we're meant to be!"
Apparently acting on a whim,
he simply cried and hugged me.

So close together, I grabbed his hand,
my will acting on its own.
He smiled at me, and kissed my hand,
No longer was I alone!

So, my love, I want you to hear
these thoughts that are on my mind.
I'm glad that now, we have no fear
and I love that love-note of mine!

Can you relate to a time from before?

Sorry, you cannot respond to an archived poem

Reviews

  • dave ochs silver member
    August 16
    Edit | Reply

    hey alex 92

    i read this and i thought the girl part was going to be the girl from the boy part, who only wanted to be friends but turns out the girl part wasnt at all related to the boy part and should've been displayed as a separate poem because the rhyme and meter altough good is sort of sing-song and back to back it seemed a bit long. i found myself hanging in there to finish the second piece.
    dave

    . Rewarded 6


    • Alex92
      August 17
      Edit | Reply

      Dave,

      The title of the piece is "Unspoken Thoughts" for a reason, my friend
      The boy and girl parts are related. The boy assuming that the girl only wants to stay friends, when in all actuality, she does want something further. At the end of the first half, notice that he tells how he left a note for the girl to find, and at the end of the second half, she tells that she loves his note
      The boy half tells of the angst of teenage love, and how many of us are shy in that way as to when we won't tell he/she who is the apple to our eye (so to speak) how we truly feel.
      The two sections are the unspoken thoughts that the two characters are thinking.
      -Alex


  • Saturday Mar
    October 21

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. I really like your poem. I wasn't expecting it to be from both perspectives, and that was really cool to read. All the thought and work in the structure of the poem was really well-thought out and well done.
    Great job
    -S