A/N:imitating the style of ee Cummings
not-
icing that
my poem contained a mi-
stake
which I would have loved to
stick in her heart-
ily
i went about my business
with her note stuck in my
craw ling
into bed that night
it was most difficult to
get rid of her note's thrust...........s............topping me
from getting some well-needed
shut...............eye
wondered just what it was
both both-
ering my mind and sleep-
ing on: it
came to me
there was no good in her note
no good
morning
good
afternoon evening goodnight nor
good bye
i note that she hasn't
..noted me again
take note:
Good riddance
What did you like/not like about this? How would you improve?
Comments
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Intersting
I'm ashamed to say I've never read the works of any of the great poets so I don't know how well you did imitating his work. It certainly makes the readers use their minds to see what's being said. Good work. -
Clever. It's very unique and fun to read. I think the last lines are my favorite because it pulls the whole thing together in a way. I'm just not sure why "ily" is stuck in there. I took it that the note was about your poems mistake and that it really bothered you. You didn't make any other mention that she was someone you liked/loved. Just a thought.
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Clever.
I had to read it more than once to put it together. That was one of the things I liked about it. "ily" is part of heart-ily.
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