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The Passing of Humanity

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Humanity has come to pay her respects
with the tolling of bells
and the smoking of cigarettes

she shuffles in corners
talks in muffled tones
sometimes forgets
not to smile

the entourage arrives

small faces in big cars
flowers and handkerchiefs

a baby cries

the small church is quickly filled
people stand still outside
grief and hope alike
are surrendered to ritual

there can be no reprieve

before she leaves
Humanity shakes the hands of the bereaved
a hug maybe

she passes by
in a long straight line
each kind word
another rung on a dwindling ladder
towards what must be faced

and can’t be



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Comments


  • gnosisonG silver member
    September 2

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    Understated Funereal.

    With an emphasis on "real". In a way this is classic Windhover - a light touch which grows with each rereading.
    Playful rhyme interpersed with natural spacing accenuates a serious theme.
    I liked the way you equated the milling throng of humanity with a femminine appellation. This suited the tone which avoided scrupulously (and effectively) too much melodrama and touchy-feely weepiness.
    A different mode of portrayal for a farewell to newly deceased.
    The canny Irishman who never overplays his hand?
    A little undecided about just which aspect of reasoning lies behind the use of a faceless humanity at a funeral, W.
    Is because the semi-shock of the most bereaved who accept condolences from mourner paying respects are rarely able to discern details and faces through tear-streaked vision?
    Or were you thinking more in line with the universality of the grief experience thereby reducing its multitude to anonymity?
    I thought the sentiments in the final stanza were most appropriate though the final line might lack a little punch. My own instincts (hardly infallible!) tend towards formalizing it slightly as in:
    "And cannot ever be"
    But perhaps I´m not so canny.

    Also liked the line:
    "a baby cries"
    Disjointed from the loose stanza setup it subtlely without fanfare alludes to the magical circle of life and death.
    On spacing I think the line "an entourage arrives" would serve better as part of a stanza with the two following lines - this would also enhance "a baby cries" as a slightly jarring intermezzio in the midst of solemnity and almost casual lamentation.
    Thoughtful piece W.

    In memorandem

    gG

  • firefly53633
    August 27

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    well?...............

    Thoughts seem a bit jumbly to me. I was going with it at first, really liking the whole idea. Then it seemed to fall apart for me!The last stanza doesn't seem to jive with the theme. Just my views. The idea was good though.

    . Rewarded 4