lonelyness *story of my life*

here we go again

the tears fall once more

the source is our good friend loneliness

though i've no one in mind

i wish to get that chance

to meet that one special soul for once

to have that chance to hold her in my arms

to caress her body and run my hands through her hair

to give her random massages when she is upset

to hold her hand in public

so i get to show everyone that we are a match

to snuggle up with her under a blanket and watch a movie with her

honestly it wouldnt matter what we did

as long as we did it together

i know it would be amazing

but that is only that damn fairytale I keep draming about

all reality does is show the painful truth

that i am alone

i've spent many nights crying for you

all i have to show is a tear stained pillow

and a heart full of scars

i want to be optimistic about this

but its hard

hard to fall for the right ones

or to see the perfect one out of reach

eh? its the story of my life

but like watching the movie notebook

it'll always hit me and i start to tear up

cause i always dream of me eting that special one

and no matter how strong i feel

it'll hit me like a ton of bricks

why is it me, the one willing to be a perfect boyfriend cant find her

the one guy willing to go the extra mile to put a smile on her face

i know my love is pure

that i am as reliable as they come

but stil i go through this many times

arn't i good enough?

my beliefs in god cripple(never die) at the thought of him making me wait...

my eyes are open

my heart is open

yet i dont find her

what am i to do

there are girls i like a lot

but dont love

will my heart stop aching?

will the scar of loneliness ever heal?

though these are rhetorical questions

i cant hellp but to ask them anyway

there where many girls who i've fallen for

many dont know

but im no fool

they're my friends

besides its nearly impossible to have a real relationship

i have no car or job, nothing

not much i can do about having a gf

(thats what i keep telling myself)

though its true

its what i say to cover the wound

like a bandage

its why my heart is full of scars

and will always be

untill i finally find her

she'll be the one to be able to fix it like new