I sat upon the potty,
when I was a little boy.
I knew if I could do something,
it would bring my parents joy.
I'm sure I tried for hours,
but couldn't do a thing.
Of course I was well aware,
of the sadness that would bring.
I was tired of trying,
I wanted to go play.
I knew that I could try again,
later in the day.
Then as I was playing,
with my toys upon the floor,
I should have listened to that feeling,
I decided to ignore.
Mommy said it was an accident,
and couldn't have been helped.
The look upon my mommy's face,
made my poor heart melt.
I did not want to admit it,
but I had not tried hard enough.
Now I can tell you truthfully...
This potty training's tough!
Author notes
Are you laughing yet?
[Reward: double points]
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
a lovely little rhyme, made me smile brian.
i think to do this kooky piece justice i would regulate the syllable length of each line- the differences sometimes threw me off a bit as i was reading
is this allegorical at all? or just a bit of fun? either way, i greatly enjoyed this- another winner.
and the line "the lookupon my mommy's face made my poor heart melt" inspired a lot of sympathy.
you're on to a winner here
dcp
xx. Rewarded 8
-
-
I'm glad it made you smile.
That was the idea behind this poem. I personally like the fun ones. Since you made me look up allegorical I'll be honest. This isn't really based on my memeories, at least not that I remember. I do remember my last bottle though. Maybe that should be a poem. I'll check to see if I can regulate the line beats sometime when I get a chance. I appreciate the compliment and the input. Have a great day my friend.
-
-
LoL
hey BB, alrite well now I'll have to veto my last favorite poem by you of "Oh Well" and replace it with this one. Very funny and relatable, it would be very interesting if anybody could actually remember thinking this at that age. I loved the comedy aspect of it, which is the tone of the poem. Nicely done there. The rhythm and flow of the poem were great and something you should be proud of. the rhymes read natural and the format of being bunched together like this and no line breaks anywhere in the poem is a great tool if used correctly and you did it well here. I used this method in the very first poem I posted here, it seemed to work pretty well in that one too, so I am a fan of this method and appreciate when it's used correctly. Another nicely written poem. Congrats and thank you very much for sharing it with everybody. Hope to hear from ya soon.
TTYL
MM
. Rewarded 8
-
-
I appreciate the high praise...
but what do you mean by actually remember thinking this at that age? Heck, it only happened yesterday! oops.
-
-
Hehe yes! I am laughing. That was so cute! Makes me think of how my little dashaund looks at me when she pees in the bathroom floor because no one was paying enough attention to her to take her outside. lol This was very enjoyable.
. Rewarded 4
-
-
Yea, I know exacly what you mean...
I've had that happen.
Sometimes, they don't pay enough
attention to me either. oops.
-
-
Man, potty training is tough!
very funny and child-like to me! -
-
It sure is...
but one of these days,
I'll get it right!
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 8 of 8
