If I could stay just one more night I would,
I would watch you as you went through,
All the rituals you hold onto night after night,
Too afraid too change.
I would watch you as you tried to fill up every moment,
So you wouldn’t have to think,
Wouldn’t have to admit that you have nothing to do, no one to see.
If I could stay another night to watch you cry in the shower,
So you can pretend to yourself it’s water falling down your face,
Then I would stay.
If I could stay to watch you watch your shows at night,
Not wanting to get involved with the pain of the news,
Clinging desperately to the painted lives of the characters,
I would stay and watch them with you.
If I could stay to watch you go to bed,
Just staring at the ceiling under the blankets at nine O’ clock,
Wondering,
Then I would.
But tonight I have to leave your window,
Too long I’ve been outside, looking in on you.
Too long I’ve been making sure you were safe,
Watching what I did not have,
Wishing.
I’ve spent so much time,
Watching your touch- and- go lifestyle,
Watching you crumble and fall like a cake without flour,
Wishing.
Tonight I have to leave, find another life,
Another way of passing the time,
Someplace where I can sleep easy at night,
Without worrying about you, alone in a two person bed.
If I could stay, I would,
But I can’t.
Something’s drawing me away from this place, from this life, from you
Something like power, life flying and soaring, like drifting on a lake
With the wind in your hands.
I’m leaving you behind to find something I’ve never known,
Leaving you to make it on your own.
What does it matter?
You never knew I was there anyway.
Comments
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WOW! I know I just commented that I really like your other poem about birds, but this ROCKS! The wording and the pain is just so perfect. This is very very very good!
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wow
I really liked this alot, it is such a poignant poem. I loved how it seemed to tell two stories. One of the person being left (who reminds me of myself) and the other doing the leaving. This could also be interpreted as speaking to one's self( I could see myself writing something along these lines to myself) I am sure you know what I mean having read my poem. I really enjoyed reading this, and look forward to reading more from you in the future. I appreciate you commenting on me, which brought me here to see your work.
I absolutely loved this line it screamed freedom to me
"Something like power, life flying and soaring, like drifting on a lake
With the wind in your hands."
beautifully done!
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Colin, you are growing up.
I am so astounded by the maturity in this piece, my friend. You have always been leaps and bounds ahead of the pack, but this is more insightful than most fifty year olds will ever in their lifetime be. What happened to you?! I hope it was not a bad experience, and if it was I hope that you learned to grow from it. I have all good faith in you.
This is both liberating and terribly sad for me, as an image of a selfless person finally needing to leave. I feel that even though the last line is bitter and melancholy, there is a sense of victory, for even though a situation often takes a path we do not like, your protagonist, it seems, will not dwell on that and make it a failure. I feel you would have used less inspiring words for the feeling if it were one of despair. That in itself is a great thing for me to see; I remember a time when your poetry had such little hope. They were beautiful, but when it comes at a price I am wary of it.
I hope you are well. I am proud of your work, and the maturity you've reached, and I miss getting to spend "time" with you, but I trust that you are continuing to pass on your knowledge and virtue. Be well, Colin of the Night.
Nenni
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Nenni, Nenni, Nenni!
I miss you. I miss you so much.
Don't worry, no bad experiences here. I actually haven't been writing much poetry lately. I'm glad you liked it. I miss you Nienna, dear Nienna. You seem different, too. I suppose we all are. Time, right?
Stay in touch, friend.
Love,
-Colin
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