I make my living in the market-place
just as my fathers would;
I move between the avenues
selling and buying
chattels...
Goods.
I cry my wares as traders have
since buying first began;
bolts of bright silk and opium...
Gold.
Spices.
Caravans.
Brigands held the roads,
so we built walls and towns,
and in these places slaves were sold...
Politics born.
Stories told.
These are the haunts of men.
It is my fate to live herein,
Sometimes I live in fear, or tears;
I do the best I can.
But friends open doors...
And there,
always
under the silence,
insistent
sirens:
whispering
great allegiances -
To the sea, ever-moving.
To the sky, ever-changing.
To home.
To remembering all I know
in sinew and blood
in bone.
And I pick my way along these cliffs
To stand by the sea, beside these
Monumental, many-hued
Storm-cleft, rock-strewn,
Riven lands,
And I recall:
However loud my market-place,
Whatever its demands
Nature is more potent
As is love
And time brings grace
Even to stones.
22/09/08 Cliff Cottage
Author notes
Cliff Cottage is a writer's retreat in the North East of Scotland where a friend's inspiration flowers for the benefit of writers and artists lucky enough to find it. This image was taken today, 22.09.08
Thanks, Elizabeth...
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Wow. YOU have always impressed me with your writing. What makes me feel even better is that you have taken the time to even bother to read mine, which i have been soooooo busy has basically been non-exisent unfortunately.Beautiful writing Alex, and the picture totally captures what you are explaining which really helps for those whom cannot picture nor place themselves anywhere but where they are. You are refreshing with your wide variety of interests and expansion when it comes down to your awesome range of writing! Please keep up on your writing, because you are young and have the oppurtunity to take your skills somewhere. I was young and dumb and did not listen to my teachers when they sent my work to a famous poet in Ireland because I was too busy being party girl. PLEASE dont be stupid like i was! You are so way talented! I know you will be famous someday and then i can brag about the fact that i spoke with you before you were! HA-HA! DONT STOP CAUSE YOU ROCK!!!!!!!!! Keep it coming dude and dont stop, ever til you cant write anymore!! cant wait to read more of your work. peace Sherry
. Rewarded 8
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Hi Riveralex
You got in an extraordinary equation of potency between Love and Nature..Thats so true and admirable!!!Powerful subject indeed, yet you let it flow in so gracefully like the river..I like the poems that comes with an ease and honesty yet with wonderful images..Concluding lines are simply inspiring...Time truly does mend it all..Keep writing!!!
RhythmDivine
. Rewarded 6
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Amazing!
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Hi riveralex,
It's my day 1 in Sharepoetry and all i wanted was to start with writing a comment. I was simply attracted by the title of your Poem. The very mention that this is about a place in North East of Scotland took me on a nostalgic ride of my yesteryear back packing experience at Clyde Valley. I was a lonely traveller all by myself trekking the entire valley. Your poem certainly kindled my deepest memories right to the very odour of the wood and the streams and the stones of the valley all still but absolutely divine and graceful as i had experienced then like you have succinctly ended your poem 'Whatever its demands
Nature is more potent
As is love
And time brings grace
Even to stones' which is an utter reality. A Lovely piece of poem and absolutely amazed commenting it.
. Rewarded 8
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Enjoyed this overall, some really interesting images and concepts flowing throughout.
I am undecided on my feelings toward the stylistic shifts, (ie how you changed format and rhythm every two stanzas) I like it on one hand, it breaks the poem up and the like stanza are also the ones that are topically similar. On the other hand because this was relativly short its a trifle jarring.
The first two stanzas had the neatest, tightest feeling, and I enjoyed the meter of them. Also i particularly liked the partial/slant rhymes. Very nice
Also, two lines that made me stop and think "what?" were: "but friends open doors" and "as is love" they seem like fragments accidnetally left over from discarded ideas. It may just be that I'm missing certain nuances of the poem (I am very tired) but they do strike me as out of place tonally.
Liked it very much on the whole. Anything about the ocean catches my interest. Beautiful image. Rewarded 8
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Hi LL, thanks for your read -
I was experimenting with the meter, it's based on a Latin quantitative meter, as you know English has a qualitative meter based on the iam, I though I'd experiment with something different.
I did about as much as I could with that, I ran a little out of steam... the first half of the poem is about restriction anyway, and the second about breaking free and the power of the natural to ground us and retrieve our hearts from stupid banal concerns. And love is about the only other thing that has the power to do that.
So I think you're right about the unevenness of the piece, and accurate about the bits that jar... especially the "friends" line which is probably a cop-out, i was reaching to explain something but this doesn't quite do the trick. An earlier version was different, I may yet re-visit this, but as it's an ambitious failure I'm pretty content I had a go - (: >))
Best RA
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very good
Hey I just drifted along with your poem.You have been able to arouse all the senses I just wish I could fly to a place like this.The muse would inspire all day. The poem soothes like an exotic balm.At the end of the day it's good to be in familiar surroundings is what I gather.all I want to do is stand near the sea .maybe someone'll make my wish come true.Lovely bit of poetry.
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Hi River,
I really wish I had something more constructive to say about this poem, but all I've really got is the gut reaction that I found it somehow comforting. The hushed, contemplative tone is totally up my alley.
Only one thing that stood out as not fitting: the line "As is love." ...meh. It seems a little abstract, a little abrupt as compared to the rest of the poem. The ending two lines, as well, "Time brings grace / even to stones." I'm not really sure what you mean by that. Do stones need grace? What do they need grace for? Maybe it would make sense if you elaborated a little more on those two lines.
Anyway, thanks for the pretties, if I can offer nothing else.
Bailiwick. Rewarded 8
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Hi BW, I thought your comment was very engaged and interesting....
I think that love can be a very potent force, not in the mush sense of the word... it's about the only thing that can transform lives. I'm not talking about romance here but the capacity of the human spirit for connecting with what is bigger and deeper than its own tiny concerns (like romance or the market-place.)
And I used the word "grace" here in the sense not of movement but of stillness - a moment's grace, a break, a hiatus, a moment of forgiveness and peace. Ironically too when I was at the shore I was struck by the harmony of the natural pebbles and forms on the shore so it did seem that over time they'd become "graceful".
So I'm glad you found comfort in it, I found comfort in writing it. Kind regards
RA
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Beautiful and almost haunting at times, your depiction of this scene is almost perfect with your choice of words, it is so appropriate for the setting
. Rewarded 4
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Beautifully written on a beautiful picture.
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Thanks Robin...
the place is inspiring, really it is. Best RA
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Well visualized
I really enjoyed your visual methods. I imagine this place was beautiful. I admire your recusative. Thank you for posting.
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is this place real?
RA,
this is a whole new caliber of poetry from you. at least of what i have read. (maybe i should read more often
)
"These are the haunts of men.
It is my fate to live herein,
Sometimes I live in fear, or tears;
I do the best I can.
But friends open doors..."
i just commented on a poem by Dave, about how i have many good friends to lift me up. and you seem to concur here. this is also the most regular-metered stanza.
and wow. the last stanza is so metaphorical and introspective. it's like you're looking inward at your self and realigning your perception of day-to-day struggles, demands from your "market-place," from the inside out.
dang-it! i wish i were there! i have always love the ocean. i feel so boxed in here in Oklahoma.
always,
Pap
p.s. - what form are you writing in, if any?
. Rewarded 8
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RA - You really landed a big one here. I like everything about it but especially its lyricism:
I cry my wares as traders have
since buying first began
bolts of bright silk and opium
gold
spices
caravans.
The slanted rhyme of 'have' and 'began' and the percussive effect of the 'b's'.
The fifth stanza speaks beautifully of refuge, allegiances, and personal survival. Seems like the pivotal outlook in this.
Time brings grace
even to stones
is a perfect ending.
It puts me in mind of Robinson Jeffers, who wrote almost exclusively of seacoast and sky on the California coast.
Can't say enought about the lyric quality, it's all yours and primed for other subjects. Cheers, MJ
. Rewarded 8
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very nice
has a very ancient feel to it. Reminds me of a painting of one of these worlds. Something like an ancient Rome, Greece, Alexandria, or any place of the past where automobiles did not yet exist and man still traveled by land and sea only. Traders were allowed to sell opium at the marketplace LoL. So it must have been a long time ago. Very well written, I like the somber tone of it all during the poem but ending with some hope and the thought of being alone with nature was more alluring and appealing than the place that gives her monetary gains. Congrats and thanks for sharing definately. Beautiful picture as well. Very envious of your journey. Hope to hear from ya soon.
TTYL
MM
. Rewarded 8
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hey river
lilting and lovely, gave the feel of a place rife with history and where you feel reverent. not the type of piece i usually read but so well done, i'm glad i did,
dave. Rewarded 4
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As melancholy as the North Sea
Lovely line, full of pain and victory: "And time brings grace Even to stones."
You are at your lyric and descriptive best when dealing with coastlands and firths.
JG
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