Readin'
Writin'
POETRY
Hooks me
like a drug.
I just want
a little bit.
Then I can't
get ENOUGH.
I THINK I can
resist it.
I'll just
leave it
alone.
Then again
I must admit
It's the best
HIGH
That I've
Known.
I start to
get the
JITTERS.
If it's been
a couple Days.
But I
can still
RESIST it.
Ignore that
RHYTHM CRAZE.
I start to get
all SHAKEY.
Then I start to
SWEAT.
But I can still
Ignore it.
I'll beat this
Damn thing YET.
I last a
little longer.
The Pressure's
CLOSING IN.
I can still
resist it.
Though my
NERVES
ARE GETTING
THIN.
I CAN last
a little longer
though I'm
Close to
giving in.
Over on the
table
I HEAR it
call my name.
Come over
Here and
Hold me.
I'll help to
ease your
PAIN.
I can still
Resist it
though I'm
going quite
INSANE.
The thing
I Want
to hold the
Most
is lying in
Plain sight.
I get a little
Closer
and start
to think I
Might.
A thing that
Brings
such Pleasure.
Shouldn't
Bring such
PAIN.
NO LONGER
I RESIST IT.
For I'm now
quite INSANE.
The thing I've
wanted MOST
in life is going
to ease MY PAIN.
I pick up my
PEN and PAPER
and give a
little sigh.
My hands are
trembling
BADLY.
I even start
to cry.
I CAN'T
resist it
ANYMORE.
I don't Even
TRY.
I start to
scribble
nervously.
Oh MAN
what a fix.
I'll only write
a little bit.
then I'm going
to quit.
My hands are getting
Steady Now.
I'm feeling mighty fine.
I'm now writing furiously words that are devine
I'm feeling really
Steady now.
FLOATING on thin air.
I'll only write
a few more lines.
OH man Do I Dare.
I have to write a
FEW more lines.
I don't even care.
I start feeling dizzy
and yet I feel so fine.
In case you haven't
Guessed it.
I've Gone and lost
My Mind.
The moral to this poem
many poets it will please
Since I felt poeticly
The chance I had to
Seize.
Author notes
Thought I'd try something different. Go ahead tell the truth. You won't hurt my feelings they're in a box wrapped in bubble wrap.
Is this just too hard to read? [Reward: double points]
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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Great!
Yes, the formatting really fits on this one. I know how hard it is to get it the way you want it. It took me at least an hour to get "Captivity" to come out on the page here the way it was on my Word Processor. Also, great subject matter! I think most of us can relate.
. Rewarded 6
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Great poem! I like the way you formatted it, and it completely fits! I thought that was very creative. It got very intense at the end, in a good way! I love your poetry, never stop writing
. Rewarded 4
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Thank you.
That's a wonderful compliment. I'm very glad you liked it and sensed the intensity he felt towards the end. When the urge hits me I have to write. I don't deny myself the pleasure. Thanks again cee. I hope you don't lose that Poety Fever either!
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Love this
Wonderful Job Brian!! Love this LOVE IT. I completely concur, writing is addicting!!
Cheers to you!!. Rewarded 4
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Thank you very much.
On this poem in particular, my inner poet wouldn't leave me alone until I sat down and wrote it. It was past bedtime but he didn't care, so I sat and scribbled it on the backs of used envelopes since they were handy. The entire time I wrote it in straight columns on those envelopes I pictured it jumping around on the page just at the poetry junky in withdrawl would. Thanks again.
P.S.
I don't really go into withdrawal syptoms...
because I never try to resist a poetry fix!
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I love it. I know how it feels to be addicted to something and want it that badly. The frantic rhythm to this poem gives it a good tone. It flowed well up until stanza 13? then the rhyme began to become a little forced, but it regained its flow towards the end. It put me in that mind set of the narrator. It's that perpetual yearning to write poetry that brings this poem alive in my heart. All in all, a great poem, I'm glad I came back to it and read it. It's original, flows relatively well, and is something many poets can relate to.I absolutely loved the form, how the stanzas seem to dance across the page in a masquerade of words. Brilliant. Great compare from drugs/poetry. Keep writing.
-Natasha. Rewarded 8
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Thank you
I'm glad you liked it. I really appreciate that you not only took the time to read it but also the time to leave such a thoughful comment. I think you got out of this exactly what I was trying to give you. I'm sorry it took so long to respond to this. It seems to be one of several I have only recently been discovering that I missed. Again I apologize. I will try to stop in again sometime to give you a read, however at the moment I'm playing catch up. Feel free to poke me with a stick if you haven't heard from me soon. Thanks again.
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Know the feelin
I just don't give in to it, it can disappoint. Overall, I liked it, summed up the urge that all who have something to say ... should, there are always others who canand will relate. k
. Rewarded 4
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I'm glad you liked it.
I definitely had the urge to write this one. It was one of the ones I couldn't have shut off if I wanted to. I'm not sure giving in to my addiction to poetry has ever really dissapointed me. It's the ones I've
written when I didn't feel compelled that I was dissapointed in. They are what I call the weeds in my poetry garden.
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hey brian
you did all kinds of things that are no-no's (to me) ie the rhyme and the lay-out however the concept was good and everything worked, breaking the rules and getting away with it is always a good thing. you had a typo which was significant quite when meant quit. the thing i liked the least was the last stanza, where the rhyme seemed forced, i feel you have a lot of choices here to come with rhyme but make the end have more punch, not to go on and on but in a humorous poem the last line is the punch line and should sum the whole thing up with a bang.
dave. Rewarded 8
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I've never been very good at following the rules...
Breaking them is even easier when you don't know what the rules are. I'm not sure how many I broke but hey if it didn't get me into hot water I'm happy. Thanks for pointing out the typo that was significant.
I'll keep my mind open to possibilities on the ending. Who knows something better might come to me. Thanks for the input.
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The poem is great but the layout is brilliant, sure you you had little drink or two before writing this one. As for theme I think we hopeful poets have all ben there at least once, at least it better than writers block.
. Rewarded 4
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I'm glad you like the layout.
Believe it or not I was stone cold sober when I wrote this. I scribbled it out on used envelopes because that's what I had handy but as I wrote it I imagined it moving around to try to show what he was feeling. To be honest I'm not sure I've Ever denied myself my poetry fix. For me that Would be insane considering the poem usually just keeps repeating in my head till I write it down. Much better than writers block. Thanks again.
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hey Brian
I love what you did with the look of the poem, making it sway back and forth kinda like your mind, telling you to go back and forth to the pad of paper, and then "NO YOU CAN'T DO IT, YA GOTTA HOLD OUT" you go back again, I like that it's very symbolic. There were a few simple spelling mistakes, an easy fix. I thought the poem to be a little too long, though there are great lines in there and they are worded well. It's just that they are saying the same thing as the stanza or paragraph above them, about you wanting to go back to the pad and paper. I often have problems like this in my early drafts of my poems, Then I do what I call "clean up" or "trimming the fat" I can't tell you where to end it or what to keep out b/c it is your hell that you are describing about not being able to write and how it's addiction affects you. And if you slowly started straightening out the poem like you did, just make the transition a little more subtle, You were straightening out the poem at that point b/c you had gotten your "fix" correct??? Cause if so I thought that that was just BRILLIANT!! A very fine write and I would have to say if you can make those simple adjustments then I would easily have to say that this is creatively your best poem as to date, at least that I have read. Great job and congrats. Thanks for sharing with everybody. Hope to hear from ya soon my friend.
TTYL
MM
. Rewarded 8
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As always MM I appreciate you opinion...
especially when it's a Good one. Your perception is working. He's jumpy
and pacing back and forth. I wasn't sure it would come across as I wanted. Apparently it did. You torture me with "there were simple spelling mistakes." cause I don't see them. If you don't mind, when you spots something like that if it's not too much troubel say hey dummy you spell thise like this. I know read the book. I'm glad you caught the meaning of the lines coming together. Again you have perceived the meaning perfectly. As for changing that I'm afraid to try. Now that the words are shifted when I try to adjust the they sometimes make drastic jumps and I have trouble getting them back in place. I hear what you saying though. Thanks again for the great compliment.
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I think your mind works in a fun and elaborate way.I imagine you writing this and am amused at how much fun you must have been having which is the mark of a true writer regardless of the opinion of others. I think you could spend a bit more time on dictionary.com but that could also be my lack of understanding of a deeper meaning in the words you chose.
I.E. "The moral to this poem many poets it will please since I felt poeticly the chance I had to cease" I could be mistaken but I think you wanted to say seize not "cease" at the end.
Am looking forward to seeing more.
. Rewarded 8
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That's a nice thing to say.
Your imagination serves you well. I enjoyed writing this one alot even if it was a little insistent on being written. I'm used to that anyway I agree that the most important thing about a poem is how it's writer feels about it. Your correct I don't spend enough time in a dictionary.
You are not mistaken I did not mean to cease at the end of the poem I meant to seize the opportunity. Thanks for pointing that out. Feel free to point those out anytime you spot one of my goofs. Thanks.
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Attempt numero dos. Lol, my freaking internet decided to freeze during my first comment! Gah. . .
I love the ryhming and rhythm. Your words are not forced, at all, and you have a great playful tone. The bold is great, but make sure to not over-use it. Then it may just lose its value. I'm likein' the 's' shape which reminds, for some crazy reason, of that one short story by Stephnen King. Anywho, can't remember what it's called exactly.
Me encanta tus poema porque muy es grande!
Ashley
. Rewarded 8
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No abla espanole porfavor. Abla engless seniorita?
The only thing forced about this poem was me. I was forced to write it. It was pouring out of me insisting on being written. I hear what you're saying about the bold but this guy is Extremely wound up. A junkie in bad need of a fix is Very excitable. The poem lines shifting was to try to show he was jumpy and pacing. Don't worry about the short story title, I wouldn't know it anyway.
Eh tu muey bein.
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YOu should try new thing more often!
I really like the strong words in this, you have a powerful pen. It's true that the pen is mightier than the sword!!! You have a talent my friend!!!
. Rewarded 4
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Thank You LAS,
You've said a lot with those few words. This poem came to me and insisted on being written. I scribbled it on envelops because they were handy. The entire time I was writing it I pictured it jumping around. To try to show the feeling as well as describe it. I am grateful for your praise.
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I think you are one of those who will bring the poetry to the next level
First time I see zigzag written poem, but it totally goes along with what you have written. And if I understand it right, you wanted the reader to almost experience the addiction itself... Not sure about others, but I certanly did
. Rewarded 6
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That's a high compliment NotPoet.
I've written one other that I used this method of line shifting but not to this degree. It's called: Emptiness. Your perception is correct I wanted to give the feel of jumpiness, not being able to hold still. Thank you again for the compliment.
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I agree with iphios. I didn't find it hard to read, though I can see that some might. I do like the idea you have of jumping around the page like that to show your jittery symptoms of withdrawal as well as what seem to be spinning thoughts. The short lines are the only thing I found difficult at all but still not that bad. It had a nice rhythm to it I felt. I say stay with it as it is!
. Rewarded 6
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Thank you for the compliment.
As I told iphios, I wrote this on used envelopes because they were handy. As I wrote it I picture it "dancing" around to try to show exactly what you described. I wasn't sure I pulled it off. I was going for a short choppy thought pattern with the lines. I've actually been told by other poets that shorter lines are "punchier" and easier to take in. Again thanks for the input and support.
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It wasn't hard to read. Though the zigzag stanzas along with the short lines didn't help the poem much. Unless you were trying to imitate the spinning mind of the 'withdrawal' symptoms of a poet. If that is the case, then visually you achieved that. The bold letters and capitalized words allowed me to read this with the strength/stress required for each word. I'm not much into rhymes, but this poem was fun to read. I never however tried to withdraw from poetry as it always has been my life blood. But once the muses possess me, there's nothing that can stop me from writing and such joy are such days.
-iphios. Rewarded 8
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Withdrawal symptoms,
were exactly what I was going for. When I wrote this it was on the backs of some used envelopes because they were handy. As I wrote it I pictured it jumping around to show what he was feeling. The bold and capitolized words I owe to my fellow poets for teaching me that trick.
I can sometimes write without rhyme but that's the way my poetry usually comes out of me. I've never really had this happened I get my poetry fix whenever I feel the need. I think I responded to your comment on the front page. I don't remember the qoute exactly, but what it boiled down to was you couldn't exsist not being a poet. Such is my life. Poetry is simply in me waiting to come out. I agree such days are joy. I loved writing this poem.
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brian, i didn't like the format of the zigzag stanzas. it was a little confusing. others might think differently. im glad u tired something different, maybe ill be brave like you and do something i don't normally do....prolly not. anyways, i liked the message. to me, it's like poetry's an addiction. not like cigarettes where the nicotine always in you, but like an 'i can't get enough' addiction. very lovely.
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I appreciate your honesty.
With the moving of the format I was trying to show his jitteriness, his pacing back forth. Basically he's unable to sit or stand still. These are classic symptoms of real addiction. That's what I was trying to portray. I definitly encourage you to keep trying new things. That's
how we grow as poets. What's the worst that could happen? Someone might say...well I don't really like it? No big deal. Someone might say...wow that's cool. Write something out of your norm. just for the exercise of it. If you don't want to show it to anyone when you're done
then don't but give it a shot none the less. I think you might surprise
yourself.
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