Yes my friend I am a poet
a man of forty three
Written poems most my life
with a pencil on some paper
both the harvest from a tree.
Bought myself a lap top
so that I could see
this thing out on the internet
called a Poetic Sea.
I dove right in
and nearly drowned
in this Poetic Sea
reading poems of a man
ten years the less of me.
I was left in wonder
awestruck, overwhelmed
for he was quite insightful
his views were so profound.
I put a message in a bottle
sent it out to sea.
the message was quite simple
You have inspired me.
The poet was quite gracious
he sent a message back.
He said thank you very much
now here's a little fact.
I've not been out
here long myself
in this Poetic Sea.
The day that I first dove in
waves washed over me.
I was a little Frantic
not sure what to do.
Though as luck would have it
I was inspired just like you.
The woman who had inspired me
was only twenty three.
She gave to me a breath of hope
in this Poetic Sea.
I too sent a message
mine floating on a raft.
Thought that it would be lost
never to come back.
I was becoming certain
it'd been a couple days
then she sent a message
and I was quite amazed.
She'd not been out here long
on this Poetic Sea
when first she had dove in
she began to freeze.
However fate would have it
her inspiration would be saved.
She said that it was by a girl
barely but teenaged.
She said she sent a message
she feared would pass her by
told her that her poems,
had saved her "poets" life.
Now it won't surprise you
it reached her new found friend
and just as all the times before
one made it back again.
She thanked the lady gracefully
said she'd made her blush.
She said it was a little boy
that she owed so much.
She said she had been swimming
in this Poetic Sea
she loved it so very much
it filled her up with glee.
Diving oh so playfully
through poems that she found.
Said she'd gotten in too deep
feared that she would drown.
As she began to panic
here came a little boy
he dove in right beside her
which filled her heart with joy.
He swam right up to her
said I'll help if I can.
Whenever you go swimming
you have to have a plan.
They swam back to the shoreline
where she thanked him gratefully.
Then she asked if he got scared
in this Poetic Sea.
He said I grew up here
swimming here is fine
I swim in this Poetic Sea
nearly all the time.
She asked what inspired him
to wade into this sea.
He then looked right at her
winked and with a grin
said he wasn't wading
he merely dove right in.
Now this part of the story
means the most to me
pay attention closely
and you'll begin to see.
She had passed on the story
of what inspired the little boy
every time I think of this
it fills my heart with joy.
He was in the park one day
and just about to leave
When he saw a piece of paper
that looked just like a leaf.
Said that he had picked it up
not knowing what it was
stuck it in his pocket
you know, just because.
He said when he'd gotten home
he'd pulled the paper out
and read a little poem
that made him laugh out loud.
He said he liked the rhythm
the way that it all rhymed.
Said that he still has it
reads it from time to time.
He said it got him thinking
in a different kind of way
words roll out across his tongue
while he is out to play.
He then told her the poem
that he loved to recite.
The poem that was told to me
filled me with delight.
For it was one that I had lost
it'd been blown out of sight.
Now I swim here every day
in this Poetic Sea
put messages in bottles
then I set them free
I simply love the way it feels
when they come back to me.
Author notes
If you spot a mistake and it's not too much trouble could you point it out as such. Mistake line 3 of stanza 8 hopful = hopeful. I proof read until my eyes hurt but there are probably still mistakes. Thank you.
[Reward: double points]
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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I got through the whole thing
To me, this poem is about finding inspiration in unusual places.
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Good.
I'm glad you hear you were able to read it all. I wrote this one with this site in mind shortly after joining. I was impressed right off the bat with two very talentated teenage girls. Their work was so much deeper than a lot of mine that it kind of left me in awe. This poem really just flowed out of me. Thanks again for taking the time to read it.
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I really like it! Of course I love all your writings I read! Great job! You did a wonderful job writing!
Hope.
. Rewarded 4
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Thank you very much.
This is one of my favorite poems. My inner poet decided to have me write it when it was late at night and wouldn't be quiet until it was finished. I appreciate you not only taking the time to read but also comment on my poetry. Thanks again. -
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No problem Brian!! I love reading or poetry!
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i like the metaphors in this one- the "Poetice Sea" is similar to your poetic garden, an image i always enjoyed. i also like the "message in a bottle"- you're putting your work out there, but in keeping with the extended meataphor.
my favourite idea is the thought of each generation being inspired by the previous one- each a decade apart but all learning from one another.
one small mistake: line five "harvest" should be "harvested"- needs to be past tense to fit in.
also, some more punctuation wouldn't go amiss- seperate the clauses with commas maybe. it would make it flow better in my opinion
a very lovely metaphor for what we're all doing here- each floating on our own little rafts in this poetic sea. i enjoyed it immensely
dcp
xx. Rewarded 8
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Thank you.
I think this is the first poem I've written using metaphor at all. Basically it said "write me" then wrote itself. I myself love the inpiration from poets a decade apart. I was inspired for the idea by the many younger poets I found out here upon joining. I've been leaning away from punctuation as I was told by several other poets that it often "clutters" up the poem and distracts the reader from what you're saying. Perhaps I leaned to far? I see what you're saying about harvested but it disrupts the flow of that line too much. What do you think of this: both the harvest from a tree. Does that work? As always I appreciate the input. Glad you enjoyed.
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hey brian
drown has to be drowned
and later,got in to deep has to be too deep
anyway i usually think rhyme isn't good but you write with a childlike innocence, what i mean in not prententious, so your an exception to the rule, i also like you seem to be able to write from everyday experience.
dave. Rewarded 6
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I'm glad you decided to dive into this one.
I appreciate you pointing those out. I was reading right over the top of them. At least both are a quick fix. I'm glad my rhyme isn't too over powering for you. Sometimes it comes out pretty thick. I actually wrote one with you in mind not too long ago called: Solitude. I fought to keep from rhyming. I thought it turned out decent. I was going to ask you to read it but decided not to impose. It seems at times I can write about anything. That doesn't mean it's going to be good though. I wrote one the other day called: WHY. It's about a spider on the wall. It's succinct. Oh yeah, and I am childlike...just not so innocent. Thanks again, as always.
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Great Swim
I love your metaphor for the site and poetry online in general. It spins a great story and has a great rhythm. There is a lot of inspiring stuff in here and a lot of fun casual stuff too. Good for all readers. Thanks for posting.
. Rewarded 4
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I'm glad you decided to go swimming.
This was one of those poems that insisted on being written. Then wrote itself. I'm glad you found it inspiring I know I did but then I'm biased.
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Great job!
Really interesting poem. I honestly don't know how to write good comment yet, but let me just say that you really kept me reading through the whole thing - and trust me, I have a really short attention span.
Anyways, really nice poem, and boy is the Poetic Sea filled with all kinds of stuff in it! It just wants to drags you right in!
2 applause for this one. Well done.
-AC
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I appreciate that.
I'm glad you like it. If you're commenting at all that's a good start. You did fine with this one. Letting me know that even though it was long you didn't lose interest is great, especially since you have a short attention span. That's saying something. Yes the Poetic Sea does have an under tow that will drag you in. Thanks for the applause that means alot coming from you since you're such a tough critic.
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I truly am inspired by this poem.
i love how its so long, but through the whole poem, it kept my interest! I love how you describe this place as a poetic sea. It truly makes sense!
Great job fellow poet!
I love reading your poetry!
. Rewarded 4
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Thank you very much.
I'm glad to here you didn't have to fight your way through it. I'm afraid some people won't read it because it's long. That's life. This one just begged me to write it. Thank you again.
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I love this story of insperation! Very incouraging. Well done.
Stanza 26 line 3, {piece}.
Stanza 30 line 3, {tongue}.
. Rewarded 4
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Thanks and thanks.
That is one for the compliment and one for the corrections. I appreciate both.
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Inspirational!
This poem is so positive and in a way shows how not only the reader, but also the poet can be affected by his/her own writing.
In stanza 24, line 3, you misspelled attention. Good luck in your poetry garden!
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Thank you Kayla,
It's always nice to know your poems are appreciated. Thanks also for helping to nourish this one so my Poetry Garden will be healthier.
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in stanza ten, line two, you mispelled floating. i really like that you described this place as a Poetic Sea. very creative.
. Rewarded 4
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As always,
Thank you very much for the help. I think my inner poet must have felt it to be fitting. He wouldn't quit whispering about it until I wrote it down. Thanks again.
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