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unseen hell

You don’t know me.
It’s been too long since I’ve been around.
I am here. But you cant see me. Cant hear me.
I am trapped here in the dark.
I see everything
The sun, the beauty, the laughter and the joy
And it destroys me.
Sometimes I try to talk to you.
To construct words to describe my prison
But you don’t comprehend.
My words are lost like a cry in the roar of a storm
So i retreat again. I am alone.
And the demons snarl, torture and persecute
They grope, strike and claw
While I suppress my scream and you ask me to smile.

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Comments


  • tirwander silver member
    September 29

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    Too real

    Very well written. I like this poem a lot. I can relate completely. So often it seems like people, myself included, misunderstand what's really going on behind the scenes in a person's life... It's so easy to just smile and quit trying to explain. For me this poem is motivation... motivation to always make sure I'm not misunderstanding the issues in a close friend or family member's life... Keep writing!

  • Brian Balzer gold member
    September 29

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    Our own personal hell...

    often goes unseen by those around us. Much poetry as are other forms of art is subject to interpretation. The way I read this it seems you are telling someone they don't know the true you. Because that person hasn't been noticed. They can't tell you are being tortured by your own demons. Your words are lost like a cry in the roar of a storm. You try to explain, but they can't grasp what you're saying so you quite trying. Not realizing the torture you endure they lightly say "Smile, it's a beautiful day!" not knowing that even such beauty hurts you because you can't truly enjoy it. As I suspected you are a poet even if you may not have realized it. There are some things you can do to improve this poem. I will send you a message with a few suggestions. Good Start.


  • Enoq gold member
    September 29

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    Dark

    But somehow well grounded and therefore relate able to the masses. I somehow think thats not what you wanted but that could be me. I see this poem as a method of both expressing and venting the frustrations of the day in day out facade that haunts us sometimes. I could be completely wrong of course but that is what the poem meant to me. I work in sales so I can relate to the constantly having to smile while feeling a much darker and torturous state of being. Good job and welcome to Sharepoety.com.


    • khj84
      September 29
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      Thanks!

      hey, thanks for the welcome, and the comment on my poem. i dont ususally write poetry so not really confident in my ability at the moment. hoping to improve though. i really like your interpretation of the poem. although that's not what i had in mind as i wrote it, i too work part time in sales and relate exactly to what your saying so that probably came out subconsciously hehe