Although the sun was shining bright
the air was cold with winters might.
While I was freezing I felt no fright
for I beheld a beautiful sight.
A thick blanket of snow covered the ground
woodland creatures were all around.
Some of them came quite near
they could sense they need not fear
Buried in snow up to my chest...
I drifted into my final rest.
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Really good... really sad..
The last two lines were very sad...
It's kind of weird reading this poem though, becuase I usually read your funny ones, and now I'm reading this one. And right before commenting on this, I commented your fruity poem, and the atmospheres are completely different.
Anyhoo, great job as always,
Hope.
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Most of my poems are lighthearted and funny.
But I have written some that are quite the opposite. I had one that was about a little boy who was talking to an old lady on a park bench when she died but I lost it. That made me sad because it was very good. I tried to write it again a couple years later when I realized I no longer had it. I wrote one called The Park (I think). It wanted to be about a little boy talking to an old man though and didn't turn out the same.
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Wow, sad.
Not only was this very sad because of the whole "final rest" thing, but it was sad to me for a very different reason. I recently moved about 6 hours away from where I lived for 4 years (but in two different houses) and there, we had the perfect four seasons (well, excepting this past winter/spring, but that's a different thing entirely...) Where I live now gets ice, not snow, and I'm really going to miss that white, fluffy stuff. Sure, I'd whine about it before but I always loved snow. And now...? I don't know. Anyways, great poem. -
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Yeah my mom didn't like this one because it was sad.
I told her they couldn't all be happy poems. I'm sorry for your lose of snow. That stinks. I loved the snow when I was little. I'll pray for you to get some snow to play in.
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Nice piece ! The rhyming is good ,i find the language very descriptive . Everything is pictured well ,and we can sense feelings,emotions and the freezing snow . So alive and yet so dead.As if dying ...
" Buried in snow up to my chest...
i drifted into my final rest ."
Keep it up!
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Thank you.
I appreciate you not only taking time to read but also comment on my poetry. It's not always necessary but it is nice to know that the reader get out of the poem what you wanted them to. Thanks again.
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