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Solitude

I lay here on this moonlit night
nestled among soft tufts of grass
on the side of a knoll
at the edge of a clearing
hidden amidst a small woodland

I listen to a nearby brook
softly singing its melody
dancing across moss covered stones
meandering through vine covered trees
ever seeking its eventual destination

I watch a slender white owl
stealing its way past branches
on trees before bursting into open air
I envey this majestic creature
circling silently above the earth

I gaze wistfully into the clear night sky
a solitary star appears before me
isolated in an infinite ocean of blackness
our singularity defines us momentarily
I accept that similarity will be fleeting

I collect my thoughts, inhale slowly then
quietly release my wish into the night
before my eyes one star becomes two, four, five
soon a dazzling sea of stars adorn the sky
twinkling like diamonds light years away

I am entranced by their flickering
I watch them as they seemingly look upon me
I can imagine their chorus of conversations
On a world inhabited by so many beings
how can this one be so immersed in solitude?

Author notes

I was playing on the neighbors playground again so dig as much as you want it's not even my lawn.

Does the complete lack of punctuation help or hurt this poem? [Reward: double points]

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Comments


  • Lake Absence gold member
    October 26

    Edit | Reply

    =]

    Great job, Brian (again.) I think the complete lack of punctuation helps your poem. But I think to really pack a punch in the end, you should add a question mark:

    how can this one be so immersed in solitude?

    I think that could help, but that's just me. =]

    Lake.

    . Rewarded 6

    • Brian Balzer gold member
      October 26
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you very much,

      for the compliment and your answer to my question. Even though you are young, you are very talented and I not only welcome but also value your opinion. I'm truthfully glad you gave me your input as I wanted to do just that but thought it might seem odd because of the lack of punctuation everywhere else. Thank you again.


  • gingerhall1976 silver member
    September 30

    Edit | Reply

    I liked it!

    I think you did well, although unfamiliar with the playground your speaking of, because I am admittedly, still a little slow on that sort of thing. I think the imagery was wonderful! It was like one of those fantasy pictures you see...that are just breathtakingly beautiful...but living, moving, and breathing, I could see it... white owl and all. I think that you accomplished a lot with this poem...kudos!

    . Rewarded 8

    • Brian Balzer gold member
      October 26
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you so much.

      I really appreciate the wonderful things you have said. To have my poetry compared to a breathtaking painting is a very high compliment. I believe I explained this in private message, but I'll repeat it here for other readers asl well, the term I used in my Author notes means I was doing something other than my usual style so you can say what you like as I'm unfamiliar with this style I don't expect that I've pulled it off perfectly. On another note I somehow missed replying to this one in time to rate your comment. I guess it's a good thing the points fairy paid you a visit to make up for my absent mindedness. Thanks again.