She keeps screaming at herself. All self-hatred and inner angst explode into a tantrum of confusion. Her eyes burn with an unfamiliar sensation as she feels every dimension of herself collapse into a single moment of weakness.
"Stop it! Your fine!"
"Fucking STOP IT!"
The louder the words become the more she breaks down. Violent cries of frustration decimate her security. She cradles her drenched face between her shaking legs as she rocks back in forth in a slow rhythmical pace.
"What did i do?"
"WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO?!"
"What the fuck did I turn into?"
She became everything that she resented most and THAT hatred absorbed into every crevice of her sanity. In a single moment, every sin she committed fell into her conscience, she never knew she had, until now. She wanted to escape into a haven of inner tranquility, but she had destroyed that sanctum a long time ago. Her thoughts catapulted across her mind in a masquerade of confusion and vexation that caused her to curl in her skin. She never wanted so badly to escape from her own mind. To be nonexistent for even just a moment. She could feel her inner animal frantically claw and rip at her insides making her chest tighten with an unbearable pressure. She gasps rapidly for air, but the same pressure enveloped her lungs. Petrified, she threw herself on to the ground, grabbing locks of her hair, violently jerking and pulling with no abnegation. She could feel her limbs cramp up, sending an intolerable wave of claustrophobia over her heaving body.
"I can't do this anymore!"
She shouted for help but her words became inaudible. Consumed by bouts of hysterical anxiety, whispering hoarsely,
"No more... I can't take this anymore.."
Reviews
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Powerful
Awesome writing,its structure is as tense and pressurised as the subject matter which is probably intentional.It has left me feeling all twitchy and anxious,(like what the fuck happens to her...i need to know)that type of feeling.Noticed you mentioned Bukowski on your home page,i`m a big fan of his.
anyway,loved this work.
bye.
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Thank you so much for your comment! Much obliged. This initially was not written for any poetic purpose, it was the result of an anxiety attack. Such emotional strain caused words to come out and it just wrote itself out. If you want to know the conclusion, I'll be happy to let you know
Thank you again for reading and commenting!
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Hey Skyviewexpress,hope you are good...truth is,the more i think about it the more i want to know such is the power of what you have written,but needless to say,thats up to you,maybe you could write a poem about what happens,but i guess it would be very difficult for it to have the same impact...anyway,i`m sure we will talk again.
Bye.
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This one got me
Wow I completely agree with Rhetorica, for whom I have to thank, for sending me your way to read. This was so powerful, accurate, and relatable, for me that is. Such intense emotion here throughout every word; I was sucked in, and dragged down the page, through the all too real feelings that panic attacks give...well done!
"Her eyes burn with an unfamiliar sensation as she feels every dimension of herself collapse into a single moment of weakness."
you have a way with words to say the least, and your ability to convey such emotion is astounding.
An excellent read!
rhetorica
October 23