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Ignore me.

Ignore the cries for help,
ignore the signs of tears.
Ignore the fact that love is dead
and my want to not be here.

Ignore me when I say goodbye,
hoping it's the last.
Ignore me when I take that gun
then shoot away the past.

Ignore the preachers tasteless words,
he's done this once before.
Ignore the pain of losing
the child you don't adore.

Author notes

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Adore or Ignore?

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Comments


  • Sarah Under Water gold member
    November 28
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    Edit | Reply
    I love your writing and the true intensity that it has, but I can't help but notice thee common theme. It is kind of hard for me to critique this poem simply because I am torn. I love it and it shows a lot of talent, but I am worried about you. I really hope that life gets better and more good things come your way, but sometimes you have to seek those good things out. Who knows .... they may be closer than you think. You are such an upbeat and fun person and it breaks my heart to know that you feel like this deep down.

    Keep lookin' up!

    Sarah


  • Dirty and Broken
    October 28
    Edit | Reply
    i hope that, eventually, the person this poem is to (oyur parents?) realize your pain...but not only that...i hope they realize your pain and don't just say "oh, that's normal" or "oh, it can't be that bad"

    i hope they see your pain and help you...because no one deserves to want to die....

    anyways...it's an amazing poem....though it does break my heart...


  • Lake Absence gold member
    October 27
    Edit | Reply

    Adore!

    Adore! Adore! Adore! This is very powerful. I can relate to this all to well, so I really am not the best resourse for critiqueing (critiqing? Critiquing? Hmmm...) as normal. I might be able to edit out this useless comment without something helpful later, if you remind me.

  • Brian Balzer gold member
    October 6

    Edit | Reply

    You rip out my heart.

    Every time I read these it makes me ache. I never know what to say. I hope that your parents hear the cries for help. I pray that they see this could be serious and don't ignore the signs. It's hard for me to critique this type of poem because I'm distracted by my concerns. I think I would replace the first {and} with {with}. On the second line of the second stanza you could use more beats. Try -hoping it will be the last. If it was me on the last line of that stanza I would use {then} instead of {and}. As far as authors notes go, I don't think they should be necessary anyway. The poem is self explanitory.