Tell me of the things I ask.
Tell me of your years gone past.
Tell me of the things you've done.
The work you did, how you had fun.
Tell me of the games you played.
Where you've gone; where you've stayed.
Tell me of these things and more.
I'll listen close. I won't get bored.
Tell me your story so I will know
and can retell it when I am old.
Comments
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Brian, Brian, Brian...
YAY YAY YAY! Ha ha. You know what I'm thinking, right? If not I'll tell you; it's quite simple. I am totally jealous of your rhyming skills, and your overall brilliance.
Lake.. Rewarded 4
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Thank you.
I appreciate the compliment. They just come natural. It's tough for me to write without rhyming when I don't want to. I'm not to sure about the brilliance. Although you are pretty brilliant in my opinion.
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RHYMER!!!!
This is an awesome poem and a great ryhming one.
I like it how you rhyme and your poem mixed happiness and loneliness.
How poetic.
KEEP IT UP!!!
. Rewarded 4
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Guilty as charged!
Thank you very much for such a wonderful compliment. I'm glad that you enjoyed it and found so much emotion in it.
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nicely done
another nice poem, with a good rhythm and flow, the substance of the poem is alrite, nothing rich or anything like that. Basically just saying everybody has a story, I think you should change the title to something like..."Your Story" or "Footprints" b/c everybody's story is like footprints that you can follow on an empty beach, and go ahead and feel free to steal that line and put it in here instead of this line..."Where you've gone, your footprints stayed." Gives the poem more depth instead of just picking a topic then rhyming about it. You're a good writer, I just feel that some of your poems are lacking real substance and meaning that is original. To be honest with ya I think you can do a lot better than what you've been doing. It seems to me You're just writing poems either for practice or just to write them about once a day, if not more than that. I know you can do better so try and challenge yourself more and come up with something that's mind blowing and something that wont soon be forgotten. I don't mean to be rude but everything you right is kind of forgettable. but that's just my opinion. You can do better than what you've been doing here Brian. I know you can I've seen it. Though this is a good poem you can do better my main man, main man Vern, V-E-R-N, UH OH!!! V-E-R-N, 5 MINUTES TO WHOPPNER UH OH. WEEL OF FOTRUNE, RAIN MAN'S SUCH A GREAT MOVIE.
TTYL
MM. Rewarded 8
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Thanks,
I've read a poem called Footsteps. It was about a person talking to God. They were seeing their journey through life as footprints in the sand. Most of the time there were two sets of foot prints because God was walking with them. At times only one set of prints. The person asks God why He left them in their greatest time of need. God tells them that He never left them. "Then why at those time when I needed you most are there only one set of foot prints in the sand?" The person asked. "My child, it was at those times that I carried you." God explained. Very touching poem. You are correct that I often write just to be writing. Sometimes not just one per day but several in a row. Simple poems, nothing fancy. I write at those times for the joy of writing. If just one of those simple poems makes one person smile, it was worth it. If just one of them makes someone say to themselves I liked that, it was worth it. If no one ever even reads it, it was still worht it because I enjoyed writing it. I've even written "throw away" poems. Poems that I stuck on someones door to say "I stopped by and you weren't here." Here's one I wrote recently:
I went to town
to buy a pound
of nails and
little screws
When I get back
it is a fact
out to the shed
I will head
I'll be gone.
an hour or two
cause I have
woodworking to do.
I sent it to a couple of people I'd been talking to just to say I was taking off and wouldn't be back for awhile. They both messaged me back to say how cute it was and that it had made them luagh or smile. It did it's job. Who knows, maybe one of the poeple I left a poem note on their door stuck it in a scrap book for generations of their family to read and have a laugh. I've posted some poems on here that I considered not that great. Yet in a couple of cases it was those that someone liked the best. One in particular actually said "Your poem touched me so much. I would by your book if you had one." I was quite surprised to say the least. Then sometimes what I feel is true inspiration hits me and I write something that I feel is substantial like: The Poetic Sea which inspires someone like Enoq to write a poem like: Writer's Cross which inspires me to write a poem like: Though I Will Die. If I tried to write deep meaningful poetry when my inner poet just wanted to have fun; he would stop whispering poems for me to write. As you know I'm posting old poems (though I've slowed down) as well as writing and posting new poems. I've been exploring new styles or forms and expanding my vocabulary to please those who desire more than common words and phrases. I recently had a comment where someone said I like this poem (not really) because I can't understand what you mean. There is nothing wrong with either and I shall continue to write in both styles as the urge strikes me. I want to share the most memorable poem that I have read with you. It was in a poetry book my son's third grade class was sudying four years ago. I'll remember this one for years. One of my favorites is:
Fleas
Adam
had 'em
author unknown
Best Wishes,
your friend
BKB
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Cool
Nice poem. One of the best poems I've read here - I've read two XD! But anyways has a really nice ring to it!
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Thank you,
that's sweet of you to say. I'm surprised you haven't been reading more poems.
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This one is good i like its sweet. who were u talking to if this is personal.
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Thanks,
I was speaking in general with thoughts of collecting stories from parents or grandparents so that those stories could be retold so that they could live on through the memories.
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I am new to this site, but you are quickly becoming my favorite poet here. This poem makes me wonder if you feel your life is boring...seemingly desperate to have a story to tell. Or possably asking a potential lover, whome you wish to grow old with. I like this poem.
. Rewarded 6
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Thank you so very much.
That is a very kind thing to say. It's not that I think my life is boring. Although sometimes it is. I have stories I that would make you question their truth. Most of which are in my past, all of which are true. It was actually just a way to say "I want to learn all I can of your life so that when I am old or older you will live on in my stories of you." I was actually thinking of a parent or grandparent but it would be equally true with anyone. However when you think of it are we not at times desperate to have those memories to share again. I hadn't not noticed the desperation point of view. Thanks again.
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