.
The spaceship landed on my lawn
which I'll admit I could have mown
a little tighter, still, they traced
corn-circles you could see from space
I said 'Get of my grass you creeps!'
my anger grew by bounds and leaps
when rather than vacate my yard
they fired a beam which pulled so hard
that I could not resist its draw
and presently I stood with awe
emblazoned on dumbfounded face
the prisoner of an alien race
I can't recall what happened next
just reams and reams of ordered text
being force-fed to my addled mind
until I thought they'd leave me blind
I woke once more upon my lawn
the spacecraft and the circles - gone!
What violation! Outrage! Pain!
Those aliens had stole my brain!
And ever since my life is cursed-
can you imagine something worse?
My every poim since that time
has been in tidy, metered
rhyme!
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
-
Applaud
Sci-fi delight! Love the way you spelled "poem" "poim" when they stole your brain. Your poems keep pulling me to read the next one. Can't seem to get enough of your writings. Fantastic stuff.
Birdie
language: 4, rhythm: 4, subject: 5, tone: 4, form: 4.
-
Nice piece
I wish I was able to write well without rhyming but for some reason I actully convey my thoughts better in rhyme.
As for this poem I certainly enjoyed its well thrown together humor. Good stuff.
language: 5, rhythm: 4, subject: 5, tone: 3, form: 3.
-
-
Each to his own
To each his own Enoq. If you can truly express yourself better in rhyme and not sacrifice meaning to meter then go for it! Thanks for reading and commenting, hope this gave you a chuckle. >W<
-
-
Hey Windhover,
Enjoyed reading this satire. The irony of it all a poem against rhyme written in rhyme. I think even in the construction in this poem, you sort of touch on the idea that some rhymes are just forced. As someone who rarely uses end-rhymes, i understand this poem pretty well. The humor is sharp and the point delivered loud and clear.
-iphios -
-
Hi Iphios. I don't want to get dogmatic about this, rhyme and meter have a place but should never be and end in themselves. I was in a bad mood with some bad poets when I wrote it. Thanks for commenting as always. >W<
-
-
I can't believe you don't like rhyme and yet you're still so good at it.
-
-
Hey Cee. Rhyming meter can be great but it shouldn't be used a substitute for poetry. Thanks for reading and commenting so kindly. >W<
-
-
Relief
I was sure they had taken your considerable cranium until i read the last stanza, which changes this poim from being great to being >great.
I still(like you,i think)dont like rhyme.
-
-
Greeting Carditis
The rhyme debate could take up a lot of time. I think it has a place, especially in humour and satire, and in the right hands it can be sublime on any occasion. But rhyming meter for its own sake is the stuff of greeting cards and poor poets everywhere. Hope this gave you a chuckle. >W<
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 9 of 9
