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Falling Awake at the Wheel.

Missing image

 

 

Man in car

Driven by demons

Steers by means

Of rear-view mirror.

 

Pothole revelations,

Forks and warning signs

Discovered only once

He whisks by each

 

Curved incline of winding road

 

Blooded blush of brake-light

Incarcerates a gaze aghast

Transfixed by acts committed

But not by the revolutions

 

Wheels spin inexhaustably toward

 

Impact thuds like a dulling wine

Freezeframes fatal closure

 

A ragdoll corpse greased fueled flamed

Wet redness smokeoil darkening the

Glass-metal reflection 

 

In rear-view mirror.

 

The worst is behind us, she cooed,

Stroking his deflating cheek.

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

By focusing our paranoid gazes on dangers behind us we fail to perceive the pitfalls ahead.

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Comments

1 - 18 of 18

  • karuna
    February 28, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    Hi G,

    Fanatastic.

    I have been reading your poems over the last few days and I have been waiting the whole of my responses to stop jiggling around and settle enough so that I can get something coherent out to reply.
    Its a bit like seeing David Backham score that vital goal against Germany.. that may not mean a thing to you.. I have had very few heroes in my life and I dont even like football, just something about his talent that sends me. I feel similarly about your poems!

    In the mix, I notice, a summary pops up to create some calm. This consists of an expletive preceeded "Fantastic" or "Brilliant" so theres not much guessing required to see what the prefix to fantastic is. I am fairly new around here and thought I would try and hold that one back...

    The power Your first stanza had me collared and from there on I was greatly entertained, educated and stimulated. I just loved your word jiggery and playfulness, better than run raisin haagen daas any day.

    I loved...

    Incarcerates a gaze aghast
    and
    Wheels spin inexhaustably toward

    The elephant made me laugh too, the connection with memory of an elephant and all of that.

    I think the message is very interesting and had me contemplating where I stand on this one. Are the pitfalls of the future not the very same as the pitfalls of tha past especially if the past ones remain unexamined. Also where are the blindspots ? Maybe regular glances in that rear view mirror are an essential part of the journey as long we dont get stuck on what we see. Maybe we get to see that the we are going past the same signs over and over again and wake up that way. I think I have my L plates on and go both ways, too much rear view and too much ignoring it at times.

    Big thanks,

    Karuna


    PS Just bought a new car(to me) car yesterday and am very into playing with the mirrors at the moment !






    • gnosisonG silver member
      March 22, 2009
      Edit | Reply

      Footballing Philosophaster!

      Firstly, Karuna, please excuse my dilatory reply to your wonderfully generous comment for which I extend my sincere gratitude.
      Though I do derive a twisted pleasure from kicking people due an affectation towards the malpractice of martial `arts`, 22 blokes kicking a leather testicle accross a field isn´t my cup of Tetley either. However your comparison to Becks was couched in such delightful terms it would bring a blush to the snowwhite cheeks of a marble bust and indeed it did tinge my own pale Celtic jowls with a roseate hue!
      Congratulations with the new car, btw, Karuna.
      Interesting point on blindspots and I must agree a holistic approach to past, present and future is without doubt the wisest course to take!
      "I think I have my L plates on and go both ways." Sounds kinky!
      Thanx again, Karuna, may your detours provide you with a wealth of fresh insights.

      Warmest regards

      roadhogG


  • iphios
    February 12, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    Hey gG,
    It took me awhile to find this poem through the list of "newly" posted poems. As always, i enjoyed this poem. Its a bit different from your usual poems, but definitely still a gnosisonG.
    Aside from the extended metaphor you so much 'exploited' in this poem, i liked the idea of the past as demons. Sometimes, we get too preoccupied with the past that we missed out on what's right in front of us---leading to further falls. There's this case of Ghosts in the Nursery(very freudian in perspective), wherein the mothers were incapable of being mothers because of their past. It wasn't that they were preoccupied or paranoid about the past; just that the past was still seemingly present. It took over their lives.
    There's nothing wrong with the past, so long as its not what's governing your life, i suppose. Anyway, i'm talking nonsense. Great poem gG. Hopefully, we don't end up with our cheeks deflated....

    -iphios


    • gnosisonG silver member
      April 2, 2009
      Edit | Reply

      Never a Nonsensical Word...

      ...have I read from your quill, Iphios. Apologies for the lateness of my reply. This was because (as usual) your comment lends my noggin powerful food for thought!
      Ghosts in the Nursery is a fascinating concept and would make a great poem (go on Iphios, it s your call! heheh).
      Otherwise I agree with you "entirely" - oops another subtle vehicular metaphor?
      The chattering of past malaise equating with a bevy of demons was one of the ideas that premeditated the poem.

      Cheers!

      Warmest regards

      gGearingup


      • iphios
        April 2, 2009
        Edit | Reply
        I didn't realize this late reply is indeed late...haha. i had to go check the poem again. I wouldn't have thought of Ghost in the Nursery as a concept for a poem. But it is indeed. Brilliant idea. I might explore that in a future poem.

        -iphios


  • leigh heart
    February 9, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    clap!clap!clap! i enjoy reading this, gG...it poses a great truth in our lives...i like the way you present your paranoia. this is a very refreshing and hard-hitting poem.

    cheers!
    leigh


    • gnosisonG silver member
      February 10, 2009
      Edit | Reply

      Cheers a bundle, Leigh!

      Thanx once again for your kind words. Such gracious accolades as yours does wonders in easing any residual paranoia I might retain from a sleepless night. Heheh.

      Regards

      gGodwhatwasthatnoise!


  • SplitP
    February 9, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    Creative, insightful and unpredictable - I enjoyed reading your poem


  • himanshumodi
    February 9, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    Very True... and well said. Very hard hitting poem. And something that I firmly believe in... I had written a poem, a lighter one than this, the concluding lines of which were as follows:

    Let go the grip on yesterday.
    Make everlasting memories of today.
    Nostalgia of departed days
    On the present cast a haze.
    Live for now… and the days to come
    … The lessons learnt from the toddler ways.
    (the poem wasn't as preachy as these lines make it out to be )

    Well, yours is in a different vein. It starts on a very high note with the first para, which is my favorite, and the intensity is maintained right through out.

    I must ask you about the line: A ragdoll corpse greased fueled flamed... that's quite a mouthful and didn't really get it. Also, in the last line, shouldn't it be "inflating"?? Or am I getting it wrong there?

    Great poem overall... And must say one of your more straightforward one


    • gnosisonG silver member
      February 10, 2009
      Edit | Reply

      Cheers Himanshumodi!

      Always a pleasure to receive comments from you, mate. Glad you could relate to the sentiment I was trying to convey (and I totally agree, this IS one of my more straightforward ones - even my wife understood when I read it to her! Heheh).

      Yeah the last part: This is the protagonist viewing his own crash and death by fiery immolation through the review mirror still, which implies that he is now a ghost reviewing his demise.

      The "she" is the spirit/angel/goddess/anima/mother (take your pick) receiving his soul and deflating was meant to imply the release of his soul/pneuma/21grams/lifeforce (again take your pick).

      Have a good one!

      Regards

      gG

      PS: have you posted the poem you refer to?


      • himanshumodi
        February 10, 2009
        Edit | Reply
        It's there somewhere in the archives... Pasting in here...

        The past midnight moon that I sleep off to...
        The slothful sun that I wake up to...
        Cartoon Network my loyal aide...
        'Neath scarring sun Cricket played.

        The beautiful days too good to last;
        A weekend from now they will be past.
        And as I trudge on my way to school
        Holiday-memories make me drool.

        The school awaits with open gates.
        Joyous reunion of school mates.
        The merriment of friends who meet.
        Set up our castle on our seat.

        The classroom caper and the playground games;
        The backbench banter and the paper planes;
        Delight of a different kind,
        Vacations vanish from the mind.

        The good times past we tend to rue.
        We still enjoy the things we do.
        Though complaints never cease to flow,
        Mirth of mundane never fails to grow.

        Though life will play its puckish ploys.
        Battle them with those little joys
        That help us through those gloomy lanes
        And make it worth living... despite the pains.

        Let go the grip on yesterday.
        Make everlasting memories of today.
        Nostalgia of departed days
        On the present cast a haze.
        Live for now… and the days to come…
        The lessons learnt from the toddler ways.


        • gnosisonG silver member
          February 12, 2009
          Edit | Reply

          Nice One, Himanshumodi!

          Good poem on childhood nostalgia. Especially liked the 6th stanza. Perfect rhyme and "puckish ploys" describes well the puerility of yesteryears.
          Cheers

          gG


  • Gagiikwe
    February 9, 2009
    Edit | Reply

    Delightful paranoia

    poem A catastrophically delightful, mirror the in viewed when

    language: 5, rhythm: 3, subject: 3, tone: 4, form: 4.


  • rhetorica gold member
    February 8, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    As usual with your work gG I find it impossible to critique,nothing ever appears to be wrong,you never write a "Big Mac" poem,its always a "Seven Course Banquet" from a michelin star restaurant where each course must be savoured and enjoyed rather than shoved down your gob to stave off hunger for an hour or two.....some lines in this stand out for me;

    "Transfixed by acts committed
    but not by the revolutions"

    this tells me that people should focus their attention on what their brain is pleading with them to do rather than surrender to what it has already done...if we could perceive the pitfalls ahead they would be easier to avoid...I am guilty of doing what you have written about in this poem but at least i`m aware of it

    see you later(im thinking about the future,see)

    rhetoricatchestheworm


    • gnosisonG silver member
      February 8, 2009
      Edit | Reply

      Cheers (In Present Tense) Rhet!

      Thanx for the culinary kudos, mate.
      You are spot on concerning the major theme of this (as Dave describes so well) extended metaphor. I reckon we re all guilty of nostalgic funk at one time or another - of being caught in past reflections (hence the double allusion) and not looking ahead. I guess being aware of it is half the battle and ofcourse its often neccesary to deal with past issues BEFORE they fester in our subconsciousness.
      Btw, I was fortunate with image if you noticed - the elephant (who never forgets) was a choice representation for memories following on our heels or haunting us.

      Warmest regards (early bird)

      gGonebeforehecame

  • dave ochs gold member
    February 7, 2009

    Edit | Reply

    hey gkeeplookingaheadinG

    great use of an extended metaphor, with a good message. the great negro leagues pitcher Satchel Paige, is remembered for many fine aphorisms is most famous is, "never look behind something might be gaining on you.
    dave


    • gnosisonG silver member
      February 7, 2009
      Edit | Reply

      Cheers Dave.

      Yepp that is a good aphorism. Like: Never let your sordid past catch you up. Some people are so stuck their past that the future was yesterday.
      gG

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