You need one of these things just to go for a piss around here-
There's always some sniper sighting you up.
It looks pretty big but the interior space isn't great.
It's all ground-clearance, wheel-arches and armor-plate.
But it's the vehicle to have if you're driving through Hell.
Oh yeah - and the military use them as well.
I like driving this car - it says something about me.
Goddammit it says something about America.
We’ve shown the rest of the world what it means to be free
Whether they liked it or not – and don’t forget it!
So what if it only does 4 m-p-g?
We’ve got plenty of oil –
Or we can get it.
If you’re in a tight spot this baby will get you out of it.
It’s fourteen feet wide so most spots are tight when you’re in it.
But don’t you just love it when something does exactly what it’s supposed to?
Global warming’s gonna cause a big war -somewhere- sooner or later-
And with cars like this we’re gonna be ready for it !
Hey - you don’t like what I drive? Well screw you!
And Kyoto!
Author notes
This is a re-launch of an old favourite of mine . I recently discovered the title was confusing so its re-named , slightly edited and has been spell-checked by someone who knows about these things.
In a list
Comments?
Comments
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Got a few laughs out of this one, you missed your chance on line 13 to bring in Iraq e.g.
We've got plenty of oil -
We've just invaded Iraq to get it. Rewarded 4
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The desired response!
It was written to get laughs , albeit with an edge I hope. Thought leaving the Iraq thing 'understood' was more subtle - and YOU didn't miss it! I play to a better class of audience you see ! lol ! Thanks for reading and commenting!
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Attitude!
This witty piece of social satire deserves a comment or more. Its in your face attitude reminds me of a the form a short slam poetry piece would have. The first line sets tone and focus immediately. A bit of spice might be if "things" was swapped for something more specific.? The wide-axelled stare-at-my-crotch shape of this vulgar vehicle reminds me of how certain testosterone-guzzling males awkardly slouch. the metaphore for the present policies and brash arrogance of the current admin fit well. The vaginal context of line 15 was something I hope was not something just I "imagined". And the ending? Ya jes godda lurv that. F'''in A!. Rewarded 4
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Gratitude !
I'm so glad to see a comment on this poem at last. It's one of my least commented on pieces ever , which wrankles a bit because it's absolutely one of my favourites. It started as comment on an anti-war poem by the great Dave Ochs and became a rant against one of my absolute pet hates - gas guzzling 4-wheel drives used as status symbols. Few things make me bristle more - even though I actually like cars and driving. I really got it off my chest with this and it's one of the few I'll show or perform at the drop of a hat. So you've patted my ugly kid on the head and given him a candy bar! 'Fraid you go into to the perv's corner on the vaginal thing though. I only meant they're ridiculously hard to park and make problems for their owners rather than solving any. But of course the subconscious is a funny thing. Maybe I WAS thinking....no - I wasn't ! lol. Personally I liked line 6 the best but there's no way you're not getting 5stars for this comment. Thanks.
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