I met Jesus Christ in a hotel bathroom
in the Austrian Alps
where Hitler came from.
He gave me a hell of a fright
but he was cool
and calm
and all he said was
‘it’s alright’
he knew I was uptight about it
afraid I was being ‘called’
that I wasn’t ready
for celibacy or priesthood
too busy having a ball
doing sex and drugs and rock’n’roll
all in all I suppose
you’d have to say
my lifestyle may
have had something to do with it
meeting Jesus I mean
funny thing is
I was off drugs at the time
a little high perhaps
on the mountains
and skiing
on just being.
in the playground of the rich
Teutonic arrogance was a constant thorn
their obvious belief
that they were born to it all-
their gall
as they pushed to the front
of the queues
their disdain for the tourists
who were no use
at skiing
I’d ignore it all-
for the time being.
the day I had my fall
and knew the skiing was done
I was okay with it
could always be so much worse
as they say
even so I went and got drunk
for want of something better to do
as much as anything else
I was on holiday after all
I stuck myself in a quiet corner of the bar
and put my very sore leg on a stool.
Everything was cool.
Till the storm-troopers arrived.
“Vee are taking zis stool ! “
“think again” I replied.
That’s how the fight happened
In the heat of it all
I called on the leg I’d been nursing
to lift me
and a storm-trooper
from the floor
where he’d been pounding me
cursing.
A tiny fracture spread
and my head swam
I heard myself screaming-
roaring-
as if from afar
out of it
but very much there
now somehow in a spectator’s role
I felt a door open.
The next morning
I got my leg in a cast
the events of the evening past
played in my head
I could only think
of my hatred
for my Nazi assailant-
how I wanted him dead
I was trying to get into a bath
with great difficulty and pain
and the anger and indignation
rose again
like a wave that would overwhelm me.
That’s when Jesus came.
I said I ‘met’ him
that’s not quite true
but I knew he was in that room.
He was the last person I expected to meet.
I thought I was crazy
listening to a ‘voice’
that said
forgive!
then I thought about it a little
and I realized what’s crazy
is to live your life believing
you can change things
with your fists
or that you can always get even.
That
and a whole lot of other stuff
was suddenly clear.
It was the best year of my life
Author notes
Dedicated to Lisa Milligan, a bright new star on this site who gave me the courage to just 'tell it' , warts and all - as well as some clues as to how to go about it! Thanks Lisa .
In a list
Comments?
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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WOW
This is interesting. I was caught in the moment. I love the last verse, it was a well written closure. I myself saw the length and thought it is long so it must be one of those poems that go on and on, but then again Windhover wrote it so....it MUST balance out! In deed it did.
thanks for the experience,
Ash
P.S. love the author notes there!
. Rewarded 4
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Personal and Powerful
Thank you for this poem. When I saw the title, I did not know what to expect. I saw how long it was and wondered if you could hold me until the end. Little did I know I would be left wanting more! Your message struck me more than anything. The meaning behind this poem, at least the meaning I took from it, is what I enjoyed most of all. On the side, it is great to see you acknowledge another member in your comment.. a nice, classy touch. Good job!
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Yes, i've read this before (by the way i already had a comment on "its poetry," so did not write one again.)...its straightforward narration of an event. The realization is of interest for in truth it is not worth to avenge anything. I had my own share of wanting to hurt someone who hurt me. There were times i wanted to just cause pain on my enemies, but yet what is its worth?
To those who have been given more, much is expected. You can't allow yourself to stoop to that level of being a brute or 'nazi.' For if we respond similarly then we are no better.
Let them feel temporary power, for guilt and the hate within them will eat them up...since we yet have a choice, lets choose the lesser evil of the two.
-iphios. Rewarded 1
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Yes, i've read this before (by the way i already had a comment on "its poetry," so did not write one again.)...its straightforward narration of an event. The realization is of interest for in truth it is not worth to avenge anything. I had my own share of wanting to hurt someone who hurt me. There were times i wanted to just cause pain on my enemies, but yet what is its worth?
To those who have been given more, much is expected. You can't allow yourself to stoop to that level of being a brute or 'nazi.' For if we respond similarly then we are no better.
Let them feel temporary power, for guilt and the hate within them will eat them up...since we yet have a choice, lets choose the lesser evil of the two.
-iphios. Rewarded 1
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Yes, i've read this before (by the way i already had a comment on "its poetry," so did not write one again.)...its straightforward narration of an event. The realization is of interest for in truth it is not worth to avenge anything. I had my own share of wanting to hurt someone who hurt me. There were times i wanted to just cause pain on my enemies, but yet what is its worth?
To those who have been given more, much is expected. You can't allow yourself to stoop to that level of being a brute or 'nazi.' For if we respond similarly then we are no better.
Let them feel temporary power, for guilt and the hate within them will eat them up...since we yet have a choice, lets choose the lesser evil of the two.
-iphios. Rewarded 1
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The wisdom of youth
I am repeatedly surprised by the innate wisdom young people display , much as I am with the innate sense of justice(and injustice) children have. You display a real understanding of the issues involved but believe me, many an adult would lose his/her mind railing against perceived injustice . As we get older we delude ourselves that we are 'in control' of things and that the world operates according to rules that make sense and are fair. 'Don't get mad - get even ' is a typical adult response . 'Just let it go' or 'get over yourself' are the responses of young people. Watch your friends forget that as they get older - but remember your own wisdom and hang on to it . It's the right way.
Thanks for reading it and for the 'bang on' interpretation and discussion. >W<
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great message
I won't go line by line review. Just because there are too many lines. This style of writing always makes a great read. I wonder if you like rap. Such forms can be rapped really weell.
Just a bit about the length. It is quite long. In fact too long. Why did you have to begin with your hotel room? you could have begun straight with the skiing trip. I guess you wanted to weave a script, but i would have left out the beginning... maybe till line 20.
Great connection between Nazis and Jesus though.
Cheers.. Rewarded 4
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Thanks for the reply!
Glad you liked it and thanks for taking the time. In answer to your question/suggestion it kind of starts at the end and goes on to tell you how we arrived there. It would be meaningless to me but for what happened in the bathroom which is revisited at lines 78 to 83 , but I think it would be too little to leave the crux of the story to just those lines. But thanks for giving it such detailed thought. My Best >W<
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well done mate
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Very touching.
I was very touched by this and your realization, or awakening to the power of forgiveness at healing anger and hurt. After digesting the events I couldn't help but ask: If you had won the fight and kept your stool without injury, who then would require forgiveness? And then, why or why not?
I have been in conflicts(not necessarily physical ones)and it has always been easier to let my anger go when I came out on top. I guess vengeance in the form of winning is a salve for anger. But when I feel that I have lost I have become consumed with bitterness and a need for the vengeance that I felt I was robbed of when I lost. Then forgiveness has, as you have described here, played a very important role in allowing me to put my indignance behind me and move on.
I only ask you this question because it is one I have often considered and wondered over. I would be very interested in hearing your thoughts on the matter.
I loved this poem, and how it made me think and reflect on my own experiences with conflict, anger and forgiveness. Thank you for this poetic journey of self.
-Sole. Rewarded 4
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Your comment was most welcome and interesting as it centred on what was in many ways the critical issue of the entire experience. In answer to your question the fight was neither truly won nor lost but there was no question of returning to the stool! My screams brought the bouncers and we were all thrown out. The 'nazi' taunted me as was helped away and since I could hardly walk I'd say there's no way I could have won the fight at that stage. On the other hand , I had stopped myself , literally , from smashing the beer glass ,in my hand when he'd 'swiped' the stool from under my leg causing me instant agony, into his arrogant face , contenting myself with emptying its contents on him before discarding it and then decking him. In hindsight things can get seriously pear-shaped in your life so easily. I could have killed him , literally, with just a knee-jerk reaction. The fact that I didn't win however WAS the source of the enduring indignation and hatred. It rode on the coat-tails of a real feeling that these Teutonic arseholes had destroyed Europe only a few generations ago and had their country destroyed in return and were still 'at it'. The only reason my 'enemy' hadn't had his face opened up by a beer glass swung full arm's length at him was because I had pulled back from a brink that would have changed both our lives irrevocably. The only reason he managed to get on top of me was that I had a broken leg BEFORE the fight started. That simply didn't matter to him. He still believed he won and that's all that mattered. You can't fix that sort of thinking. And in truth there's not much thinking going on with 10 pints of lager on board. My 'realization' was that its not up to me or anyone else to 'change' how other people think . Only how I do. In the end it will all work out . The only person you really have to forgive is yourself so you can move on . Most of those we forgive don't even think they need forgiving - finding out that they do is the hard part. But its for them to do for themselves. I'm probably wandering a bit here but I think you get the idea. 'Letting go' of my hatred and wish to get even was a cathartic and life-changing experience. It happened in a hotel bathroom in Austria in 1988 and I thank God for it . Thank you for asking .
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Excellent write!
Windhover - I would have thought 103 lines a lot too long (and who would I be to mention LONG?). Well, see how wrong I can be! This poem flowed like a quick running little stream - not turbulent, but bubbling along at a bright pace. The poem is written in my favorite style. It appears you put a lot of thought into your line breaks, which are key to this style of writing, and I can find nothing in that category that seems out of place. Of course, I chose to read this poem based on the title. It is definitely an attention grabber, speaking to the age-old conflict between good and evil; yet alluding to the satire found within. Your poem delivered a dramatic content I would have expected from the title without being overtly religious.
There are some technical points that I think might benefit from a bit of polishing. I think an overall review for basic grammar would help a lot. I realize you go by UK grammar rules and I go by American grammar, but these are not the points I am speaking of. It appears to me that some of the poem has standard punctuation (commas, periods, caps, etc), and some of it has free-form punctuation. To me, one or the other is acceptable grammatically speaking for free verse. That's with a couple of exceptions like using question marks in a primarily unpunctuated poem when it is absolutely necessary to define a question. Specifically, L4-7 begin with cap words but appear to be one sentence. L9 and L15 begin with lower case words that appear to need caps. The capitalization of "He" when referring to Jesus doesn't seem to be consistent. I'm not one of those people who is determined to capitalize "he" for every reference to Jesus, but for the sake of consistency I'd say do one or the other. L57 has two instances of "and" in the beginning. One thing that I think detracts from the tone of the poem is the use of quotation marks. The reader might want to determine what is to be stressed for him/herself. I'm not even sure the poem needs quotations on the spoken phrases.
Aside from technical issues, I wonder will your language be offensive to Germans. I only say this because some German people of today regret as much as anyone that their country is associated with Hitler - much like our racial issues in America inthat many caucasions feel that they should not be held accountable for the actions of their ancestors. However, you do make a point with your mock German accent phrases.
This is an excellent poem - I think you could go beyond excellence, though. A polish here and there - and voila! Exquisite! And now that I've posted a critique fit to provoke any and all length remarks ever made - thank you for the wonderful read and
Best wishes from Toni. Rewarded 1
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Points taken - Thanks for this!
Thank you for another detailed , considered (and positive!) review Toots ! I do get caught between 2 stools when using this form , finding it hard to abandon my schooling in the correct use of punctuation and grammar.In deference to your detailed and lengthy contribution here I went over it and dropped all but what I felt were absolutely essential items of punctuation , like 'called' - that's a very particular meaning not open to interprtation here. I also dropped one rather forced rhyme which had been bothering me . So thanks for sending me back to this which is one of my own favourites.
As for the Germans and Adolf I did agonize about that quite a bit. I actually didn't single them out , 'teutonics' , arrogance and nazi-esque behaviour being the targets for my vitriol. No race has a monopoly on this sort of behaviour nor is any race or any man incapable of it, myself included. Many issues arose from this experience , one of them my realization that the Nazi's were not just some horrible historic anomaly where a lot of bad people just showed up coincidentally at one time in the same place. What we must learn is that we can all be Jesus and we can all be Hitler , Christians or Nazis . Essentially we are all made of the same stuff . We can't change that - only the choices we make and how we behave. So apologies for what may look like my racism showing through. Those who got a bad press in the poem deserved it. But not only Teutonics can be Nazis - witness the horrible irony of Israel's conduct in recent years. All of which is an aside too big an issue to be dealt with in a poem of only 103 lines ! But thanks for handing me the soap-box . Nice doing poetry with you again . My Best . >W< -
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Well, when you put it this way about the nazis, I see your point. Perhaps I was too quick to make my point. You are correct - we are all multi-faceted, no one group has a monopoly on prejudice. Thank you for your response - I have enjoyed doing poetry with you as well. Best, Toni
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I just love your style
I can't really comment on your use of language, because the wonderful style this is written with just carries the reader happily through the first two thirds. I mean honeslty, you could be writing about fish mating cycles and I wouldn't much care.
Meeting Jesus I mean.
Funny thing is
I was off drugs at the time.
little high perhaps
on the mountains
and skiing.
On just being.
^ I lvoe that, in fact I adore that wghole stanza. Not only is the style good, but the content interesting, and although you do the whole "found Jesus" thing, which could be very cliched and standard, it works great, and sounds great, because it's somewhat tongue in cheek and "Yeah, I know how this sounds".
The last third, I think suffers a little bit for a lack of the quality I just described, it gets serious, but also a bit bizarre. Guy on a skiing holiday suddenly attacked by storm troopers while sitting in the bar (Slight problem in that I'm afraid my first thought was starwars, perhaps SS would be a better word?)
I like the line "I called on the leg I'd been nursing / to lift me" but after that the language gets a bit... standardy, and just gets a bit "serious" for it's own good. Your "head swam" "I could only think / of my hatred", "listening to a vocie that said forgive". Considering the situation, and your previous language it all feels really flat.
I'd dearly love to see the last third brought up to the standard of the first two. I hope saying that doesn't offend.
all the best
- iorek. Rewarded 4
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Hi Iorek . Great to 'see your face in my place'. As always your comment is incisive and considered and as always it is most welcome. I take all of your points and please forgive me if on this occasion I admit that it's most unlikely I'll be doing anything about responding to them with an edit. Thank you for noticing that I am aware how this one must sound - it kind of wrote itself inasmuch as it went down on paper quickly enough. But it was hard to write for just the reason you mention. It is actually just me recounting something that really happened. At least the events took place, meeting Jesus is of course open to whatever interpretation anyone wishes to put on it. I certainly don't want to preach but on the other hand it wasn't all just 'entertaining' on the occasion , and maybe that reflects in the poem a little. I offer the facts as objectively as I can recall them , well aware of the many 'spins' that can be put on them. But for me , I 'met Jesus' in that bathroom. Different people will have different names for that experience. I named it with the vocabulary my life and education and culture have equipped me with. I won't defend it any more as to do so goes towards where this was never meant to go ie. preaching. I simply offer it as is , for whatever it's worth to whoever may read it. Your comment is accepted in the spirit it was offered and I thank you for it. You remain one of my most admired poets and critics on the site . Thanks again . My Best . >W<
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Well I don't think I can ask for any more than that really can I?
You flatter me far too much, but it means a lot coming from a poet whose work I enjoy as much as yours.
Write some more stuff for me to critique will you?
iorek
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I Just Found This Tonight Windhover (8/10/06)
Windhover, what can I say? I was enjoying the heck out of this and then I read your dedication. I've never been so honored in my life. Ever. I'm so speechless. It was the title that drew me in (of course). I love it - it is funny and thought provoking and you get pulled into the story right away. There's so much I could say about how you have Jesus and forgiveness in this piece, but I understand where you are coming from because of your comments - so I respect that and we'll keep an arms length from religion. I have a problem with organized religion myself and you already know how unconventional I am, so I'm pretty much considered a bad little Christian girl anyway. I loved this piece even before I got to the dedication and I'll never be able to thank you for that precious gift. But enough about me - I so enjoyed the story, you created great imagery, and I loved the humor included. I really admire your use of words, especially lines 26-37. I enjoy your work and you can be sure I'll be checking in and will keep reading. -
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Hi Teach !
Since the dedication was absolutely sincere this comment is more than prized , it is precious. Sometimes we forget that writing and poetry is for ourselves at least as much as it is for outside consumption. Thank you again for making this one happen. >W<
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WH...
I read this before but it was too lengthy for my mood that time, and so I'm back and don't think for one second I'm sneaking! LOL!
This is, as usual, very good as your other poems BUT.... you wrote some notes so I was triggered to expect a lot more. This didn't sound so candid as I was hoping it to be...It's too polished, too clean... But then again, if your drafts look like this, I won't be surprised!
Cheers!
Lynne
. Rewarded 1
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S
I'm going to take this as a compliment Stubbornthoughts (LOL)! I should say immediately that I don't compare it in any way to the work that 'Musings' is. But I wouldn't have committed this to paper (and left it there ) had I not witnessed Lisa's 'publish and be damned' spirit with that piece. In truth I wrote it quickly with little or no rewrites (4 lines of freehand scratched out) but I have written or tried to write more sanitized versions and adulterations of it in the past. And abandoned them. I always allowed issues like racism (my own) and religion (my wish not to be associated with it) to get in the way . And you don't really want everyone to know you're just a little bit nuts . This is as straightforward , unembellished and direct as I can tell this (true) story. It was not 'polished' in any way. Thanks for reading and commenting as always. My Best >W< -
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follow-up
i just went back to your poem and actually peeked in the comments of the two great poets i love and truly respect here in SP (dave and gnosisonG)...and I am embarassed to death! lol...they both say its fine work and i say -- it's not too candid...hahaha
U can delete my comment if u wish, no hard feelings! loooooool!
im outta here,
S
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well, i'll be damned! lol!
this IS a compliment! but.....i KNOW...you're a little bit nuts! LOL!
'later,
S
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Another Great Arian Tale
Or did I mean avian?
Whatever, Windhover with this dichotomy you go where only eagles dare. A real poke in the eeyrie at teuton attitude. I bet you would`ve given the hun a thorough fisticuffing had you been hale! Or not so high
up.
Your words were on a roll and I have naught to put a finger on (verdammt!).
Your vision did have a beard, long hair, bloody forehead etc though right? I mean if it were a short, mustachioed loud person asking you to forgive nazi louts it would be at least as understandable.
Ah well nazis come in many hues and stripes ofcourse and to forgive is wise...
But just one well-aimed punch to the nozzle while exclaiming: And that`s for the annexation of Alsace Lorraine you bastards! , before we forgive completely perhaps?
Thanx for a great read,
Cheers,
gG
PS Is there a better picture to enhance your poem than a nazi flag?
. Rewarded 4
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Always look on the bright...side of life...!
Ha Ha ! Thank you my reversereadable raconteur for injecting some of the humour and gung-ho I felt obliged to leave out of this one ! Just between you and me our Arian friend was treated to a large 'weissbier' shampoo and facewash and a small broken nose before I 'forgave' him. Forgiveness is not about gratuitously forgiving all the assholes out there. It is about ourselves and not becoming one of them. Have you seen 'Munich'? Great film on this topic - and your own recent publication. By a Jew. Personally I always support the underdog. It's just such a huge disappointment to see them overcompensate and become bullies themselves. And it happens a lot. Delighted to get your comment as always but particularly on this one. Thank you . My Best >W<
P.S. I'd LOVE to see what YOU'd come up with as an image for this ( I don't like this one myself and I'll have to remove it now. That's your fault so YOU have to come up with a replacement! )
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good read windover
very dream like with different elements combining but even through the read i could tell the poem was structured and organized.
good message to without being didactic or preachy.
i think you've written something ambitious here while making it simple. not easy.
well done
dave. Rewarded 4
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Thanks for reading and commenting Dave. Really appreciate it.
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