On the edge of sleep’s precipice I hung
As my senses clung to the songs
of birds and the midday traffic and the voices
of people going about their day
the beauty of those noises
the way they wowed and faded
I played them like elusive fish
on a gossamer line
back and forth
divine harbingers of narcosis waiting
skating on the thin ice of Nod’s gateway
so reluctant to succumb straightaway
let me stay – let me stay
losing the fight
to remain in that sweet half-light
where dreams and the world outside
collide
how I resisted slumber’s call
tried to hold on to it all
alas
that gentle welcome fall
to oblivion
Author notes
Not that I get to do it too often - but siesta is a very civilized institution indeed!
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Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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A lullaby.
Bird, the times I've been in Mexico, I loved the way the small towns shutter down in the late afternoon and blessed quiet reigns. And I learned the beauty of the nap.
You do justice to this most civilized pasttime of man here. My favorite part of the day is the siesta, and the best part of that is the half-being of the "precipice" of sleep -- death's sister, as old Will says it. Gentle poem, Bird.
"I played them like elusive fish / on a gossamer line / back and forth..." The word "gossamer" alone entrances me whenever I see or use it; the whole line is magic.
Another gem from W.
Lad
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you make sleeping come out as that very calming experience with the words you chose. The first line was perfect i like how you put sleep into a precepice and make people see that one in on the brink of without stating it so obviously...
as a college student, sleep has been a luxury even the afternoon sleep, reading this poem made me want to get myself some siesta....
you have a beautiful way of describing how we try to slowly fall into the world of dreams....such ordinary thing (sleep|) turned into this magnificent experience. great read.. Rewarded 4
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Thanks Iphios , for your very gratifying comment. Nice to know the message found a listener and the gospel (good news) of siesta spreads forth!
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Lucky you
Much as as I would love to doze off like that,--envy!--I usually end off squirrel caging, can't turn it off, all the things I haven't done yet. Then I wake up having missed all the fun.
Terry
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One of the great riches in my life is to be able to sleep anytime anywhere at the drop of a hat. But a proper siesta is just unbeatable . Sorry to beat you up about that! Trouble sleeping must be terrible. My sympathy and my thanks. >W<
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the solution
--for me has often been that I stay up so late finishing things I hadn't done that my eyes say I must stop. Then, a few minutes, light out, I am asleep before the head hits the pillow.
Could be worse, and it IS productive, but I still think your version is *such* a privilege!
Terry
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Wonderful
I really like this poem, the wording is well chosen. My only problem is line three you have two "and the" you might consider changing it to "Of birds, midday traffic and the voices" or maybe move "the voices" to the next line then take out that "and". Well, thats about it for now.. Rewarded 1
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Simply stunning!
Yah...
It's really amazing! This was damn good a description, and ur vocab… good usage of words and all that! Most of us have had such experiences... I can say almost all. I have also come across a number of poems on this topic, but I dare say, ur's is beyond compare! The poem's so well knit, oh! I really can't spot out a single flaw.
Loved each part of it, i can't say particularly which lines, they r all so stunning!
EXCELENT WRITE!!!
. Rewarded 1
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This may be my favorite piece of yours so far. I especially love the beginning-- how you describe the things that run through your head-- birds, traffic, voices-- you can't shut them off; you don't want to shut them off. But Morpheus is just so damn seductive.
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Hi Pie ! I may have to start liking this one more myself if it's to draw such distinguished acclaim! This was an easy write for me - all I did was tell it like it is for ME. Apparently lots of people feel the same so the chord was easy to strike. Nevertheless I'm very pleased it pleased you and thanks for the kind words . My Best >W<
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I won't miss it for the world!
At a certain moment, If i were given a choice, food or sleep - no 2nd thoughts, I will choose the latter! That's how problematic my mom was during my younger years as she needs to do all her tactics to wake me up from a goooood slumber! LOL!
I think this is a very good description of my favorite past time.
I esp. like the collision of dreams and outside world and the harmony of the different sound you hear just when your eyes are about to drop.
See you after my nap!
Lynne
. Rewarded 1
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Narcoleptic HighNoon
To swoon into soporific slumber for an afternoon siesta would be in my view the apogee of civilised conduct and it is indeed a crime that society does not cater for this, Windhover. Receive, hereby, my acclaim for broaching this subject!
Your words sing to me like a lucid lullaby.
The inner pedant remains mute before your delightful prose and you score top marks for many excellent lines.
"skating on the thin ice of Nod’s gateway" might be my favourite, but I`ll have to sleep on it.
Valium for the tremulous soul indeed!
Cheers, and as Zebedee was wont to observe in his lascivious way to virginal Florence: "Time for bed."
Boing!
gnosisyawn.. Rewarded 1
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Do not forsake me , oh my valium !
Have to say I got a great laugh out of this reply , not to mention my gratification at straight 'A's from the master himself! Wow! This could be the apogee
( noun 1 Astronomy the point in the orbit of the moon or a satellite at which it is furthest from the earth. The opposite of PERIGEE. 2 a culmination or climax.
— ORIGIN from Greek apogaion diastema, ‘distance away from earth’ )
of my career !
I'm off to the pub ( boing ! boing! ) Yes , Florence was a fox wasn't she ! Always liked Dougal myself ( though in a different way you understand ) - and the music. More 'Time for tea' than 'time for bed' as I recall . Is it possible you're nearly as old as I or have they been doing repeats?
Glad to know you're a fan of one the truly great simple things in this vale ! Delighted with the comment and thanks as always . >W<
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Perfect description!!!
What an eloquent yet dreamy,surreal description of those wonderful moments between reality and sleep.I love that feeling, those twilight moments.
I think lines 18-22 sum up perfectly, the fall into sleep.
This perfectly describes not the sleep we yield to at night but that lovely mid afternoon slumber after tiring, yet enjoyable hours(even at work)
I have just returned to the U.K. after a year in Spain
and again you have captured the moment of those wonderful siestas.
Emma. Rewarded 4
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Takes one to know one
Clearly you're a fan of this dubious Continental practice that you can so identify ! I have described my delight in it many times verbally to friends who wonder at my capacity to 'nap' at the drop of a hat but I enjoyed writing about it. Nice to know there are more of us out there! Thank you for the generous comment . My Best >W<
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Perfect description
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