- Member since September 18, 2005.
- I am a man (Great Britain)
- I have 6 comments, 6 archived poems, 33 poems, 1 philosophy
My other items
1 - 2 of 2
Show all
- Stripped Bare at allpoetry
she stands alone shivering - weeping for willow at allpoetry
lost my youngest cat willow yesterday morning. not able to write much at the moment still feeling to unhappy but hopefully will manage at
Guest Book
Comments
1 - 2 of 6
Show all
-
-
on Murky Depths by Eruvande Almare, on September 22, 2005
very good
i think the last verse was the best as it brings the whole thing together quite nicely. if you could have injected some pace into the middle part to portray the fight and struggle it would have built up to a nice climatic end where peace and tranquility was gained. very goodlanguage: 3, rhythm: 3, subject: 4, tone: 4, form: 5.

good twist
at first i thought this was about when you hear of people passing on the street when you need help and they just keep walking. i wasnt expecting such a twist at the end and you are so right it does feel like that with family at times. very well writtenlanguage: 3, rhythm: 4, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 4.