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Robert davidson

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  • on A True Fashon Statement by , on August 16, 2005

    Excellent

    No. Your point comes across immediately and very maturely. As this is free verse you could vary the length of the lines a bit and if possible avoid the rhymes ‘eyes’ and ‘lies’. Otherwise excellent.

    . Rewarded 1

  • on Revenge by , on August 15, 2005
    A very powerful and deeply felt narrative. However, the rhythm flow is a bit uneven at times.

    Robert Davidson

    . Rewarded 4